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Bondage for Beginners – The 3 Things You Need To Know

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When you become mindful of your own predilections for fetish play, you may be facing a lot of false assumptions. Many people who are new to the BDSM lifestyle are surprised when they find out how open, responsive, and helpful the experienced BDSM community can be as a resource for your own journey of sexual exploration. The fact is, we were all new once and most of us would prefer to help you avoid some of the obstacles we had to navigate on our own. Here are 3 things you definitely need to know as a bondage beginner.

1. Safe Words Are Not Optional
For some strange reason many beginners, the people who would need them the most, choose to act as if safe words are optional. They are not. Anyone with even the smallest amount of bondage experience will require anyone participating in the scene to establish a clear, easy to recall and simple safe word. Knowing a safe word doesn’t interrupt the sensuality of a scene if you establish it hours or even days beforehand. Choose something obscure like “orange” which is very unlikely to ever come up in the context of the scene itself – and be prepared to stop immediately the moment anyone utters it.

2. Test It Privately Before Playing Together
You finally built the bondage contraption of your dreams, to the specification of your fantasy mind. It looks perfect, exactly as you always believed it would; and you’re eager to see how much pleasure the group will get from it when you unveil it at the next BDSM play session. Do everyone a favor and test it thoroughly in private first! The only way to know something is safe, secure, and ready for play together is to strap into it, pull on it, push it, and twist it with at least ten times the force you would expect from someone using it in a scene. There simply is no excuse for a sharp edge, loose pulley, stuck latch, or other mechanical failure when someone else is depending on you to have done things right in the first place.

3. Your Open Mind Is The Sexiest Thing About You
You have an idea of what BDSM is all about. So do I and so do each of the people you will meet along your journey to a deeper understanding of human sexuality. The difference between the best doms, the most sought after subs, and people who get old all alone is their individual ability to listen. When someone tells you what they want, it’s your responsibility to keep your mind open enough to take it to heart. There is plenty of time for sharing what you think you know, but the rare moments that really count the most are the ones where someone else ignites a spark in your soul by identifying something about you that you never even knew about yourself. Bondage is about more than just physical locks and keys, in fact, the key to unlocking your full sexual potential is the strength to maintain a truly open mind.

Check out: Best Bondage Dating Sites for BDSM Lovers

We’d love to hear any bondage experience stories or tips in the comments below.

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