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Financial Submission in BDSM Relationships

When I think of submissive/dominant relationships, I think mostly of the physical, sexual, and emotional communication that defines such a union. But financial submission/domination can also be a part of a bdsm partnership. Perhaps it is difficult to find a lot written on the subject because not only do many people wish to keep their kinky lifestyle choices to themselves, but most of us also like to keep what we do with our money private.

I have been with men who I was dependent (in part) for financial stability, and I vowed never to be in that situation again. Although they would never admit to being dominating with finances, I certainly felt submissive and yearned for independence. I can’t imagine letting go completely of my ability to handle my money, but many people do, and see it as the final step to complete submission. A dominant who wants to take control of his submissive’s finances is not in it for the cash, but rather looking to extend their domination.

Both men and women enjoy being with a financial dominant and will look for this quality in bdsm dating profiles. If they do find someone, it may still take time and the building of trust before this enters their relationship. No one should be handing over passwords and bank cards to new lovers.

So how does money fit in to this particular relationship? Is it just about handing over money, an allowance? This is where couples get creative in their exchange and involvement. Some doms will demand gifts from a sub or it may be the subs’ initiative to provide ongoing presents to appease their dom. These orders, if not obeyed, may be followed by humiliation or physical punishment.

Financial domination may involve a continual drain of one’s monetary savings to their dominant. These subs are sometimes called “paypigs”.This type of relationships causes much debate with kinksters questioning the validity of the d/s partnership, wondering if it’s just one person using another in the guise of the bdsm lifestyle. Because so many people judge these subs’ decision, there is a reluctance to discuss this relationship.

Submissives may also allow their dom to manage all their finances which include paying bills, providing allowances, and allocating money to certain activities. This type of arrangement is found in many non-kink relationships, too! The sub may also be dependent on their dom and be expected to beg for money they want/need.

Of course, all of these scenarios of financial submission should be consensual with boundaries and limits set in place. As with any bdsm activity, it’s wise to start slow. As your trust deepens, so too will your exploration. Safety first!

For one woman’s experience with financial domination, read: Celtic Queen’s Blog

Have you been in a financially submissive or dominant position? How was/is the experience?

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Tell us what you think!

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