Just the Tips

BDSM: Is Choking Someone Crazy?

Naked Woman with Rope around Neck

One thing I noticed when I got into the dating scene was the number of women who wanted me to put my hands on their throats. Often they would grab my hands and put them around their own neck, asking me to squeeze. I was always a very considerate and gentle lover, and so the desire they had to lose their breath never made sense to me.

Still, they wanted it. Sex is always a thing where a person has the maximum amount of fun when they feel like they are pushing past the walls of normality they put up in their regular lives. Because women are more vulnerable, and more prone to being overpowered by men, the chance to be overpowered in a safe way can be sexy.

The main thing about choking is to find that balance between getting someone to the edge, and not taking them past the edge. The worst case scenario is for someone to be hurt for real, but they do need to feel like they are getting close.

The last woman I was with kept asking me to squeeze harder and harder at her throat, to get her closer to the edge every time. Sometimes I think I was more scared than she was. I have to admit that the combination of very tenderly thrusting inside her, while at the same time forcefully cutting off her air was super hot.

3 Tips for BDSM Breath Play

1. One good way to make sure things stay just safe enough is to have a safe word. The woman I was with liked to joke that “kill me” is a bad safe word. A good safe word is something easy to remember and short. If you’re getting into something intense and she says the word, then stop immediately and regroup. She will feel way safer and trust you to do more if she knows that she can trust you to respect her limits.

2. If you’re choking her and she can’t say her safe word, then stop when she starts fighting to get her breath back. It’s important to talk about this, and understand how people respond. Breath play is definitely a game that requires thorough and proper communication, or someone can be hurt.

3. Silk feels good on the throat and mixed fibres don’t. I like to use my hands, or sometimes a silk scarf if I’m behind and doing it doggie style. The trick to choking is to cut off the air with some force, but only for a very short time, and then let her get her breath again and go on. Start to restrict the breath slowly and make sure you know where her limit is.

Choking is hot, but criminal investigations are not. Have fun and be careful!

Kinky Confessions: Asphyxiaphilia

Share your fantasies or experiences with choking and breath play in the comments below.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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