BDSM Relationship Negotiations

Relationship negotiations are key to successful BDSM partnerships. Good communication at the beginning will lay a foundation that won’t easily be shaken. These discussions should take place after you’ve met someone in person, realized you are both willing to enter into an intimate relationship, but want to clarify your desires and expectations.

These questions, discussed early in a relationship, will prevent messy preventable arguments a few months down the line.

What type of relationship is this going to be? e.g. sub/dom, slave/master
Will we be moving in together? To whose place?
Are financial responsibilities involved?
Is the relationship going to be sexual?
Are we going to be part of the BDSM community?
What are our roles?
Is this going to be an exclusive relationship?
Do we want a short-term or long-term relationship?
Are we going to be open or discreet?
What challenges does each person worry about?

These questions may be discussed only or written down in contract form, but not legally binding. As with any healthy relationship, there is an organic evolution of what partners want and don’t want. Negotiations help to build structure, security, and responsibility which benefits everyone involved.

Kinks: How do you communicate your fears, desires, and expectations with new partners?

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