Just the Tips

Getting Started in BDSM

Handcuffs and Whip

Kink Lovers readers have left comments asking how to get started in BDSM. Newbies want to know where they can meet and engage with other kinksters as well as learn where to educate themselves about the lifestyle. I’ll share tips on what helped me begin to explore my sexual kinks.

The internet is a great place to start. Surfing online is the easiest and fastest way to find bdsm articles, events, forums, and other people with similar interests.

FetLife is  a social network that offers articles, definitions, and forums. With over a million members, there’s a lot of information being shared. Kink Academy offers online tutorials and much more for newbies. Since I began writing for Kink Lovers, I’ve found myself on sites that range from very mild to hardcore (every site links to many more, and it’s hard to stop exploring once you get started), so like me, you’ll probably uncover things you never knew existed and maybe wish you never did. Be prepared.

Munch clubs get together to discuss bdsm-related activities over food. You can find these in most metropolitan areas and even some smaller cities. This is a safe place to initially meet people where you can ask and learn more about what is available in your community. Clubs may be specific to a bdsm niche, ask if they don’t state this.

Other places to learn and explore bdsm is through local groups, clubs, or organized events. Once again you’ll find these through the internet by typing in keywords that interest you. General sites that aren’t always bdsm specific can be great resources too. Try Meetup.com, or Tribe.net to join a group or attend an event that is for beginners.

Local sex shops often hold workshops such as fetish exploration, stripping, and tantric techniques. Most of these shops have websites if you feel anxious about dropping in to ask, but people that work at these stores are usually friendly, full of knowledge, and will put you at ease if you’re new to bdsm.

You may have a partner to begin exploring with, but if you’re single and want to meet someone with experience, it’s time to put yourself out there. Join a dating site like bdsmdate.com and fill out a profile. And remember, you don’t have to meet anyone until you’re comfortable.

Kinksters: What other tips can you give for bdsm newbies?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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