Just the Tips

Is Hooking Up with an Ex a Good Idea?

Smoldering Woman in Red

Have you ever hooked up with an ex? I can’t be the only one. And I might do it again… After a recent breakup, I began flipping through my Rolodex of past lovers, wondering if there was anything (I mean anyone!) to be had. I wouldn’t be so horny, except that my bye-bye-boyfriend was amazing in bed. As great as great sex is, it can’t always save a relationship… sigh.

So my next move is to send out a few feeler messages or texts. I know, it sounds awful… or is it? I love dating sites, and going out to the bars can end in some spontaneous fun, but after a breakup, my energy levels are only so high. And some of my exes have pulled the same thing – some with success, some not.

If you’re thinking about hooking up with your ex, it’s best to consider the possible outcomes. I write these from experience and from friends who also “return home” when the land of loneliness becomes too much.

The Upside of Ex Hookups

  • You both know what each other likes
  • You both know what each other doesn’t like
  • You know it’s only about the sex
  • You’ll be reminded why the relationship didn’t work
  • You don’t have to do “the work” of meeting someone new

The Downside of Ex Hookups

  • You may have to relive bad memories
  • You could end up back together, repeating past mistakes
  • You may end up wanting more than they do
  • You may have regrets afterwards
  • You may realize the sex wasn’t as good as you remembered

If you think you can handle it, it’s worth a shot… especially if the breakup was amicable.

If you think the risk is too great, find someone new at BDSMSingles.com!

What are your thoughts on sex with an ex? Let us know in the comments!

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Tell us what you think! 2 Comments

  1. Dave

    January 6, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    This is a good column. A lot of what works or doesn’t for short-term or long is like in any relationship whether it is a kinky one, BDSM or the like, or vanilla. And a lot of it is also common sense. And if you don’t want to hook up with an ex when the desire for something comes up, then yes, dating sites are great. I like those that research and review the sites first. There are sites reviewed and listed and then finding the right (or wrong, lol) person is only a few clicks away. Fetish personals sites are now as prevalent as mainstream and because it is more niche-specific, I think it’s easier to find a partner on the same page. So ex or not, have fun.

  2. hazzeleyes

    January 9, 2015 at 10:48 am

    I’ve been divorced for 4 years, with one child with my ex. Twice, we both had sex again. Once because we were both drunk. Second time she just wanted to give me a blow job. Yea, it was nice. I can’t help but love the woman because of our kid. At the same time, I still didn’t want the relationship we once had. That is what was nice because it was easy to open the door and tell her goodnight.

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