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Kink Light for BDSM Beginners

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When I was younger and heard the term BDSM, it made me uncomfortable. I also didn’t know a thing about it and probably didn’t even know what the letters stood for. As I grew older and had more varied sexual experiences and partners, my perspective changed. Writing for Kink Lovers also expanded my mind when it comes to kink.

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When I talk to singles and couples who are curious but new to kink or any BDSM activity, I like to share my experiences and recommend starting slow and keeping it fun at the beginning of their exploration.

Kinky Activities for BDSM Beginners

1. Visit a Sex Shop. Every time I walk into a sex store, I get new ideas. I love to browse through toys, videos, instruments, books, as well as talking to staff who are often very knowledgeable about all that is on offer. It’s a great way to expand your sexual repertoire at a casual pace. Check out the Kink Lover’s BDSM & Sex Toy Store!

2. Attend a Sex Convention. These can be so fun for a couple just starting out their journey into bdsm and kink. Sexapalooza and alike offer everything from demonstrations, burlesque, sex toys, workshops, and interactive events that will open your eyes to possibilities you never knew existed.

3. Share Your Fantasies. This means taking a risk at being turned down sexually, but it can be worth it if your lover is willing to put on that strap-on and fulfill a fantasy you may have only dreamed about. And if you’re willing to share, she’ll likely follow suit.

4. Watch Kinky Porn. Most of us like to keep our porn for those lonely times alone, but if you really want to show her what you like, but maybe not actually talk about it, this is a great way to do that. Bring the iPad to bed and take turns picking sexy videos to watch. You will likely be surprised at what kind of porn really turns your lover’s crank.

5. Read Erotic Stories. This can be highly arousing, especially if you or your lover are not into porn. You’d be surprised how wet a woman can get just from reading or listening to sexy script. And there’s no shortage of titillating books a la Fifty Shades of Grey available at your local library or on the internet like Literotica.

6. Role Play. This is an easy way to find out where you feel most comfortable on the dom-sub spectrum. You might prefer playing the boss who needs to discipline his secretary, or maybe you want to bow down to your headmistress. Some people like to switch roles, which leaves the door to fun wide open!

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