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Safe Words in BDSM Play

Safe words are words to keep you safe while engaging in BDSM play. You may say different words to stop the action immediately, to slow down, or to keep things going. Some people will simply express these as red, yellow, and green. Others will creatively choose words that only their lover would recognize. The last sub I slept with cried out “pineapple” when he wanted more discipline.

In large parties, participants often use the word “safeword” as the safeword so as not to confuse those monitoring the activities.

These words are not only used as a reaction to physical aspects, but also to our mental limitations as well. Safewords should never be ignored. If a lover doesn’t respect your safewords then you should know they are unlikely to respect your limitations – goodbye!

Stop Words
These indicate that the scene or action must end immediately. There should be no negotiation after these words have been used. Be responsible, and only use your Stop safeword when you mean it, or you may end up like the boy who cried wolf.

Slow Down Words
When you say these, it lets your partner know that you don’t want to stop, but what is happening is too intense, more than you can handle. A bottom is letting a top know they are uncomfortable with the type of play or position they are in. The top may also use a slow down word just to check in with how a bottom is doing.

Keep Going Words
These are often used when exploring or passing existing limitations. Something you may have said no to in the past is now piquing your interest. Limitations do change and so shall the words you choose to negotiate with.

What is most important is the discussion you and your partner(s) will have previous to BDSM activities. This will prevent surprises or confusion in the midst of fun.

Do you use safewords with your partner?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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