When you first get together with a new partner, it’s tempting to dive in head first and immediately explore his or her boundaries, but the smart play is to take it slow, especially if the two of you haven’t gotten into that much detail about your shared areas of interest. While no two dates are the same, here are some good, basic guidelines for making sure that your first kinky date doesn’t also turn out to be your last.
1. Start with open communication
Before taking things in a sexual direction, get a good idea of what your new partner is into. If she says that she likes to be tied up, don’t leave it at that. Find out what she likes to be bound with, and what things she is or isn’t comfortable with you doing while she’s restrained. There’s a lot of trust involved in bondage, so it’s important that you stay well within her boundaries, especially the first time.
2. Don’t get too experimental
You want to give yourself and your partner room to grow and experiment in future encounters, so don’t start by immediately pushing the envelope, unless your date is explicit about wanting things to move fast in that direction. Keep the domination or humiliation light, and then increase intensity and severity as the two of you get to know each other better.
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3. Unless it’s a role play, be yourself
Unless your new partner tells you that she wants you to act a certain way, or adopt a specific role, just be yourself. If you’re a reserved guy, don’t try to transform yourself into a sternly dominant master overnight just because you think that might be what your date is looking for. Trust that before she went on the date with you, she was drawn to you as you presented yourself to that point in your interactions.
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