Just the Tips

Tips to Help You Explore Your Submissive Side

Submissive Man on Leash

Being submissive is an art. Some people take more naturally to it than others. The loss of control, though, isn’t about being a weak person. It’s more about learning to see new parts of yourself, or to play a role that you are denied in your everyday reality.

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Submission is the flip side of domination. A person can only be dominant if they have someone submit to them; if they have someone willing to play the game. Even though the sub is ostensibly at the mercy of the dom, the dom also needs the sub to provide the trust that allows the game to continue.

If you want to be overmastered by someone, be in a situation where you feel safe. Part of being submissive is knowing how far is too far and asserting those boundaries.  Most people don’t know where those boundaries are, or where they would like them to be. It can change from day to day. The simple solution to this is to choose a safe word. If things are getting too crazy, you say your safe word and the game stops.

Submission means submitting. You need to allow yourself to be punished or humiliated, and to enjoy it. This could be as gentle as being tied to a bedpost with silk scarves, and it could be as crazy as wearing a full-latex bodysuit and having live jumper cables attached to your balls while being whipped with blackberry branches. The point is to release your ego, and let it happen.

A lot of alpha people like to play the submissive role because they have to play such boss roles in public. We maintain our masks for the public good (as we imagine it) but then we need a release. We need to play the opposite in order to balance our lives. Those big bad bosses need a powerful woman to put them back in place, to play a wicked mother, or to treat them like a child. 

Some people who are submissive in life also like to play submissive roles. This helps them work through things in a safer environment. There are no specific rules. Anybody can do it, if they feel safe and it makes them happy.

Submission is a pathway to holiness. Look at all those Buddhist and Christian god seekers who put themselves on the path of humility in order to find god. Christ himself took joy from washing other people’s dirty feet.  

If it helps you to eradicate your ego, then imagine being tied up and sexually tortured as a way of finding higher spiritual understandings. If anyone questions your proclivities, just tell them you’re on a righteous path. This will shut them up for a while.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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