Facts & Info

Edgeplay: Extreme Kink Controversy

Woman Being Strangled

One man’s moderate hanky panky is another’s kink too far. Kink lovers know that experimenting with rituals and fetishes is a wonderful way to push traditional boundaries and experience a world of pleasure beyond the basics.

Find Local Kinky Hookups Now

But even the wildest adventurers among us can find themselves lost at sea. Kink can be as mild as a silk scarf tying a partner’s wrists, or more extreme than one’s wildest fantasies.

In the kink and fetish and BDSM communities, the word “edgeplay” refers to extreme practices that challenge even the core of kink conventions. Most kink is about SSC (safe, sane, and consensual) and those involved are committed to safety and consent at all times.

Edgeplay is about a world that pushes not just the boundaries of conventional sex, but the conventions of consensual kink, moving into territory that plays with the limits of physical harm, even death, and/or defies consent and compassion.

This is a very controversial subject, and even hardcore fetishists can be offended by some edgeplay practices. These might include extreme breath play (erotic asphyxiation), blood play, fire play, knife or gun games, purposeful transmission of HIV or other diseases, desire to amputate one’s own limbs, incest, and age play.

You may have heard of the acronym RACK (risk aware consensual kink) wherein players understand the taboos and risks and want the activity anyhow.

There are debates raging within hardcore communities over edgeplay, with some claiming that universal moral limits or taboos exist, period. Usually the kinds of activities protested involve those who cannot consent—disabled people or children, for example. Other times it is public health that is considered, after all, even if you get off on the idea of receiving a disease or setting your own penis on fire, this can directly or indirectly affect other people like family members or taxpayers.

Defenders of edgeplay say all desire is natural and all boundaries are artificial. You can get an STD by accident, so why shouldn’t you do it willingly? Detractors say extreme kinks are no one else’s business but those consenting to them, except when they are—for example, being strangled will cause emotional harm and trauma to family and loved ones if you die, and they haven’t consented. In turn, defenders say anyone can take ill, die in a fire or car crash, or get raped, so choosing to do so is taking power over what is usually out of one’s control.

Many say following the laws of where you live is a sane and safe boundary that makes sense personally and socially. Following laws on age of consent and gun use would be reasonable. Other kink lovers say rules are made to be broken, or that laws are arbitrary, or that that laws are imposed on us without our consent. Some argue that laws are meaningless—in some countries it’s against the law to have premarital sex, and in others, old men can marry toddlers. These argue that morality must be personal.

Because our responses to sexual pleasure and sexual pain are so complex and varied, each and every one of us will have disgust towards some of the activities others pursue, as well as outrage at the prudishness of those who discount and judge our desires.

In my opinion, it’s common sense to avoid activities and people whose practices disturb us, as well as those who judge us, and to seek like-minded partners for the kinks we do want to explore.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

Find Kinky Hookups in Ashburn at BDSMdate.com
To Top