A Dom claiming a submissive as their own is referred to as collaring.
What is a Collaring Ceremony?
A collaring ceremony is a formal gathering to honor the relationship and commitment between BDSM partners. In a collaring ceremony, the submissive is collared by their Dom(me) in a symbolic gesture of ownership.
A collaring ceremony can be a simple affair between a Dom and sub or a more elaborate event with friends in attendance. Often vows and promises are spoken aloud and sometimes contracts are signed.
The collar is recognized as a sign of ownership in the kink community.
The Dom will have exclusive rights and be in charge of decisions made for their sub. Sometimes it’s necessary for outsiders to ask for the Dom’s permission if they want to interact with their sub. This depends on the formality level of a specific community, but it is usually considered very rude not to ask.
When and where a collar is worn is something both Dom and sub will agree upon and whether or not this change dictates the behavior of each person. It’s usually understood that the collar itself is part of the Dom’s possession, but that the sub is responsible to care for it.
The BDSM Ceremony Collar
What kind of collar is used for a collaring ceremony? An actual collar can be used, or it can just be an understanding.
You may be thinking leather and studs, but it’s more about what the collar represents than what it looks like. It can be leather, a piece of BDSM jewelry worn around the wrist, or even a body piercing. It may be a chain with a small lock which the Dom holds the key to. You might start wondering about all the people you see with some tie around a body part!
Some couples purchase their collar at a specialty BDSM shop while others make their own.
Read: 8 Types of BDSM Collars
What Happens at a Collaring Ceremony?
During a collaring ceremony, the Dom agrees to be the sole caretaker and protector of the submissive. This includes BDSM education, decision-making, reward, and punishment. The sub surrenders their personal power for as long as they wear the collar.
Watch Evie Lupine’s video on BDSM collaring ceremonies for an in-depth look.
The collaring ceremony isn’t a step in a BDSM relationship that is generally rushed into. It may take a couple of years to get to this step.
An agreement about what the collar means must be worked out ahead of time. Let’s just say, collaring is not for BDSM newbies. For those that do know what they’re undertaking, collaring can be a reward and provide great security to both a Dom and a sub.
It would be great to hear from a Dom or sub that has experience with BDSM collaring.
How did a collaring ceremony change your relationship?
Tell us what you think