Fetishes

The Fetish Kink Difference

Woman in Lingerie at the Office

Fetish and Kink. What’s the difference? If you’re new to the BDSM world, you may be wondering or using these terms interchangeably.

Fetish
a. part of the body, object, action, etc. acting as a focus for sexual desire.

With fetishes, sexual fulfillment (orgasm) requires the presence of an object, whether that is a body part, piece of clothing, sex toy, or even food. It may also refer to what one does with that object. If you can’t achieve climax without some kind of pain, that’s a fetish too. If you can’t come without whipped cream being licked off your back, that’s also a fetish.

Kink(y)
a. given to or involving bizarre or unusual sexual behaviour.
b. (of clothing etc.) bizarre in a sexually provocative way.
c. strange, eccentric.

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Kink, unlike fetish is a sexual preference that is nice to act out but not necessary for sexual satisfaction. You may still want your handcuffs in the play or your lover to wear stilettos and a strap-on, but if neither is there, it’s not going to stop you from coming. Kink also refers to behaviours (threesomes, spanking, voyeurism, golden showers, etc.) or a particular chosen lifestyle (dom/sub, master/slave).

Somewhere outside fetish and kink lies the good old fashioned turn on – anything that brings you pleasure and excitement before a sexual act. You know what a turn on is when you get hard or wet, and often it can surprise you – the colour of a woman’s lipstick, a mole pattern on her inner thigh, or maybe a barely perceptible lisp.

How do you define fetish or kink? What’s your biggest turn on?

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Tell us what you think! 4 Comments

  1. jamesinthecovs

    August 24, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Like hot date info.

  2. baseballfan

    November 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    I have a very weird kink I think and have never told anyone, and it is that I like to lick and slurp up my own cum. I was wondering if anyone else did this and if I should tell my gf?

    • Lola Page

      Lola

      November 27, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      I have heard of this before and actually knew a guy who enjoyed this as well.

      If you think about it, it’s not all that weird considering men also enjoy women’s cum, and the fact that women very often enjoy taking a man’s cum into their mouth.

      I wouldn’t be too afraid to tell your girlfriend, but you probably have a better idea of how she’ll react than I do. I would maybe try bringing it up when she’s performing fellatio and say something like “I’d like to taste it too”, or maybe you can even have her feed it to you. I think most partners are going to be less threatened by a kink or fetish if they know it doesn’t exclude them so try bringing her into the activity if you can. If it’s something you prefer to do alone then there may not be much reason to let her in on it. Good luck!

  3. tied4u

    June 28, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    I’d love to try some bondage.

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