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England’s House of Kinky Lords

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Some people think I have a vivid imagination, and they’re right!

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5 Reasons Why England’s House of Lords are the Kinkiest Politicians 

1. Well to start, they’re all part of this really exclusive political group that has their own kitchy costume—a black pirate hat and red Santa Clause cape with a white fur trim. And guaranteed, some of these blokes show up for work with nothing but that hat and cloak and socks and shoes on.

2. They’re British. The Brits may have a rep for being frigid and proper, but contrary to popular belief, that’s just all a cover up shrouding centuries of righteous sexual repression. Well, with the extreme exception of most of the British ruling class, as everyone has read about the debaucheries of past Monarchs fucking their brother’s wives or killing them. Huge royal orgies were held at court that lasted for days on end. 

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3. They call themselves the House of Lords, a great name for a bunch of tightly wound aristocrats who consider themselves well above the rest of the fold. It’s a great name for a BDSM club whose membership requires some sort of sordid feat, like fucking in the Tower of London or drinking a nice big goblet of ten other lords’ cum.

4. They all got together and voted to delay a bill which would give England’s police investigators the power to scope out every one of these so called Lords’ browsing history, meaning all the dirty little sites these pillars of discipline and moral superiority have been whacking off to since the dawn of the internet. Oh the scandal!

5. The honorable Lord Sewel, deputy speaker and chairman of the privileges and (get this) conduct committee, was busted for getting down with a couple of sneaky prostitutes who managed to not only film Lord Sewel snorting a massive line of  cocaine off of one of the ladies tits, but also got him to admit his appetite for young and Asian ladies of the night. 

What do you think? Have I convinced you?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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