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The Master Bedroom: How We Balance Control in a Kinky Relationship

Woman in Ankle and Wrist Cuffs

Early on in our marriage, my husband and I established a rule: I could rule the roost in the kitchen, I could be the one who drives, and I could have dominion over the remote control… but in the bedroom, he’s the boss.

This arrangement has made for a wonderful sexual dynamic, because while I hold the purse strings, if it’s any kind of strand that can be used to tie me up, then it’s all his to control. I don’t think I could be satisfied in a relationship where I wasn’t in control outside of the bedroom, but I’m beyond happy to let him call the shots when we’re between the sheets.

One of our rules is that sex takes priority over just about everything that isn’t urgent. I can be sitting in the den cutting checks to cover the bills, and if my husband walks in and tells me to assume the position, I set down my pen and conform to his instructions. He has given me free rein in so many areas of life that it makes it easy for me to give him carte blanche to call me to sexual service at any time.

Fortunately, my husband appreciates his authority while wielding it wisely. He doesn’t call me in the middle of a busy day at work and demand that I come home for some personal discipline; he waits until I get home to lay down the law.

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Granted, the arrangement I have with my husband might not be for everyone, but the important thing is that you find a balance that’s right for you and your lover, whether you’re in a committed relationship, or just hooking up for the occasional night of kinky fun. With the right balance comes optimal enjoyment of your sex life, which will enhance everything else about your life, as well.

Read: Tips for Finding Sexual Compatibility

Tell us what you think! 1 Comment

  1. todd

    July 28, 2014 at 1:37 am

    I have given my wife the same keys you gave your husband and WHEN she drives I am the luckiest bitch alive.

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