BDSM Dating

Do’s and Don’ts for Kinky Hookups

Handcuffed Woman Wearing Lace Blindfold

Are you into BDSM and kinky sexual activities but not interested in a long-term relationship? You’re not alone. Lots of single kinky folks still want to enjoy their fantasies and fetishes but play the field.

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The thing is, most people need to develop a certain level of trust before they want to engage in kinky stuff, and that trust usually doesn’t happen on a one night stand. (If it does, enjoy!)

Do’s and Don’t for Kinky Hookups

DON’T interrogate her about her kinks. If you end up with the dominatrix of your dreams, hallelujah, but don’t dig and dig about what she’s into if it doesn’t come out naturally.

DO tease and flirt. If you have sexual chemistry and end up together with your clothes off, you likely will find out a few things about her desires. It’s always best to let the the woman lead the way your first time out, even if you’re a dom.

DON’T bring out the whips and chains. You may have a dungeon in your basement, but introducing your little love nest to your first date probably isn’t a good idea.

DO be playful and engage in spontaneous role playing. This means acting a part or referring to your lover as someone else (e.g., Mrs. Brooks), without getting into costume or bringing out the props. Save something for the next time.

DON’T overshare every secret fantasy, especially the ones that have scared off past lovers. It’s okay to ask a question like, “Have you ever tied someone up or been tied up?” because bondage is considered BDSM lite by many.

DO share mainstream fetishes if you have one such as a foot fetish or erotic massage. These have a better than average chance of happening on a hookup than anything involving nipple clamps and ball gags.

DON’T expect too much from a hookup, when it comes to satisfying your deep dark desires. It’s a hookup, so most women are not going to indulge you at the cost of their safety or comfortability.

DO be open to future hookups. You can be clear that you don’t want a serious relationship, but a kinky friend with benefits is worth exploring because you will end up building the trust necessary for many BDSM activities.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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