BDSM Dating

Easy BDSM Hookups for Kinky Singles?

Man Kissing Blindfolded Woman

Think it’s impossible to find a quick BDSM hookup? Think again…

As a lover of kink and seeker of bdsm hookups, you probably know by now that one of the keys to a successful bdsm encounter is trust. Because trust cannot truly be achieved overnight, you may think that the concept of a bdsm hookup may seem impossible. But that surely won’t stop many of us from trying to find one when the urge for some kinky play strikes! So let’s take a look at what it would take to find a bdsm hookup and some precautions to keep in mind.

Where to Meet BDSM Hookups

I think the most ideal bdsm hookup would be someone you could continue to hookup with on a regular basis so as to increase your compatibility and get deeper into your play, whether that’s bondage, spanking, strapons, or exploring any other type of fetish. But where do you meet this hookup initially?

You could certainly look for someone at an in-person event such as a munch, some type of event or sex convention, or perhaps a fetish night at a local club. These are all good ideas for meeting new people in the scene. But what if you’re looking to meet your next hookup right this hot minute? Enter: your best chance of hooking up sooner than later…

BDSM Hookup Sites

You knew I was gonna say that, right? Yep, I’m a huge fan of finding hookups over the internet. The instant satisfaction of searching for local profiles, sending a flirtatious message, and chatting the night away with kinky strangers. If you don’t already have a profile at a site like BDSMdate.com then you should really consider doing that now. You can set yourself up there for free to start, check out the free chat and videos, and do a search to see how many hot locals you can find. (BDSMdate is a huge site; you will find LOTS!) Upgrade so that you can start contacting your potential hookups, which is really not such a big deal at less than $30/month. If you think that’s too much then try going to a bar to find your next hookup and be prepared to spend way more than that in one night! That’s how I look at it.

Create a Free Profile at BDSM Date Here

Now that you’re all set up at a bdsm hookup site you can start searching for women and men based on fetish, interests, submissive or dominant, and all that other good stuff. This is the real beauty of using a site. You can really narrow in on what turns your crank instead of waiting until the 5th date to find out that no, she doesn’t want to fuck you with a strapon, dammit! So narrow it down, start sending messages, move to phone calls, meet up casually, then take it to the bedroom!

Be Safe to Be Kinky

As with all hookups, it’s important to be a little cautious about getting down with a stranger. And as I mentioned above, there are clearly some additional precautions to be taken with a bdsm hookup because acts that involve bondage, gags, spanking, toys and so on, often call for an added level of trust with your partner. So always obey the following:

  • When communicating online before meeting, make sure to discuss how you’ll keep yourself safe, through the use of a safe word and by clearly discussing both of your limits.
  • Don’t go straight from instant messaging online to ringing the person’s doorbell. Talk on the phone first and be sure to meet somewhere neutral at LEAST once before getting down to it, such as a coffee shop. Be wary of bringing alcohol into the mix at this point.
  • If you end up going to an unknown location or the home of your hookup, take the time to text the address to a close friend or someone else you trust. I know you might want to keep this hookup a secret but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

What’s your experience with bdsm hookups? Have you ever had an amazingly kinky time with someone you just recently met? Share in the comments below!

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Tell us what you think! 6 Comments

  1. Hugo

    November 2, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    Your top two bdsm sites accepted my profile but demanded payment before allowing me to access their sites. So much for “free to try”.

    • Lola Page

      Lola Page

      November 18, 2013 at 12:21 am

      Which two sites Hugo? I know that the free accounts usually don’t let you message other members, but most of them let you veiw all the profiles, and BDSMdate.com has free chatrooms and free member videos, KinkDating.com has free forums.

      Upgrading is definitely necessary in order to set up actual dates IMO. But in my experience, the monthly fee is a hell of a lot less then what I might spend on just one night out trying to meet new people.

  2. Zesquishmitten (@zesquishmitten)

    December 13, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    Gotta love the paid advertising portal links; and the fact that there are other VERY well known free sites out there… Which you fail to mention. Hmm, shall we recommend the free site to our readers so they can get started without pulling out their wallets, or should we pretend that this is an article when it’s really a big advertisement that we hope gets us a few referral bucks for new paysite members?

    • Lola Page

      Lola Page

      December 17, 2013 at 8:18 pm

      There’s only one link to a dating site in this post, in addition to the other information regarding setting up a profile and safety tips. If you want to mention a free dating site that you’ve tried and works for you, then please go ahead and mention it! We are always interested in alternate opinions and suggestions for our readers. Personally, I DO use BDSMDate.com and it doesn’t break the bank. (I use it mainly because it has the most profiles.) So again, what sites do YOU recommend? That might be more constructive.

  3. Jodie

    March 3, 2015 at 7:07 pm

    Try FetLife.com – works for me x x J x x

    • Lola Page

      Lola Page

      March 22, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      Thanks for the suggestion Jodie!

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