BDSM Dating

Tips for Success With BDSM Dating

FFM Threesome

Striking out with BDSM dating sites? Or just getting started and want to put your best foot forward? Follow these tips for more success with online dating.

First Things First: You Need A Great Profile!

What do you do when you come across a profile with no picture or one that is incomplete? If you’re like me, you click away from those profiles because they don’t give you enough information. It’s like staring at the back of someone’s head at a club and trying to figure out if you might like them. Fuzzy pictures, vague information, no information… not helpful. Give your prospective dates what they want!

Aside from a good clear photo, your words are key to your success. I believe the trick with finding success on a site for bdsm and fetish is to be specific, but not TOO specific. If you have some “must-haves” in a partner, then by all means go ahead and list them. For example, if your foot fetish is central to the relationship you’re seeking, then you should definitely mention that on your page. But don’t go overboard and mention every little kink you might be faintly interested in exploring.

Details that aren’t integral to what you’re looking for could potentially turn someone off before you’ve had a chance to converse. Getting your foot in the door is important, and putting out too many specifics can actually hurt your chances. Leave some room for questions and discussion while still putting down enough to display your personality and set yourself apart.

Above all, keep your profile light and fun so that others will find you approachable. It can be hard to be objective, so if you have someone you can trust to check out your profile, a second opinion is sometimes helpful.

For more advice on creating a killer profile read Holly’s post: BDSM Profile Writing Tips

 

Get The Ball Rolling: Starting a Conversation

Now that you have a complete profile (and only now), you can start messaging women or men on the site who spark your interest. Remember these simple tips and you’ll quickly be way ahead of your competition..

Do…

  • Read the persons entire profile before contacting them.
  • Reference something they said in their profile. This shows them you’re interested in them specifically.
  • Write more than a single sentence. Give it some thought. Try funny, try honesty, and be yourself.
  • Ask a question. Don’t forget that the idea here is to start a conversation so make it easy for her to respond.

Don’t…

  • Send cut and pasted messages. This may be a numbers game, but you’ll be zero for a hundred with this method.
  • Waste time messaging people who don’t fit your criteria, or if you don’t fit theirs. If she only wants to date younger men and you’re pushing 50, look for someone more compatible. Also, be sure to note people’s preferences for meeting submissives or dominants.

Anxious to get things offline? Stay tuned for my next post on how to move from online messaging to the next level of communication, and finally meeting in person.

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Tell us what you think!

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