Best BDSM Dating Sites

For the readers at KinkLovers, BDSM Date is the most popular dating site for those interested in BDSM and fetish. However, there are many other sites in this niche that are also great for making new connections and meeting women and men in the lifestyle.

All of the BDSM dating sites below offer a basic membership which allows you to sign up and check out the profiles and available features before upgrading. I usually advise people to explore a few sites and then only continue with the one or two that have lots of local profiles.

BDSM Dating Sites that Work

Disclosure: I’ve been a member at the following sites, (and still am at a couple of them). Since I’ve determined they’re all the real thing, I’m happy to recommend them to readers. Please note that Kink Lovers can receive a small commission if someone chooses to upgrade a membership, but it costs nothing extra. Just earns enough to keep this BDSM blog going.

BDSMDate.com

This is not only the largest BDSM dating site (by far), but also the most fully featured. BDSM Date offers video chat, instant messaging, member blogs, and topical groups and chat rooms. The search function allows you to find people into your specific fetish or interest so hooking up with like-minded members is easy. If you haven’t joined yet be sure to check it out.

Pro tip: I recently discovered that you can explore many more of the features such as chat, groups, and profiles with the free membership on desktop. So even if you prefer to use BDSMdate on your phone like me, you may want to try it on your computer if you are still undecided about upgrading and want to see more.

BDSMSingles.com

Read our full BDSM Singles Review.
This is a lesser known site but has a good number of profiles after being in the game for well over a decade. Some of the advanced features could be improved (such as allowing member to member video chat) but one key benefit here is that you can view profiles and play their tinder-like game of “hot or not” without upgrading. This gives you a chance to see who’s near you and ready to play, but I do recommend the full membership for when you want to contact someone to set up a date.

FindaFemdom.com

Read our FindaFemdom Review.
The name says it all! I like this site as well because you can sign up for free and take a look at all of their members. You’ll find thousands of people in the BDSM lifestyle here including local femdoms and dominant women. New members get 30 free “Flirts” (ice breakers), so you can start interacting right away and get a feel for the community before deciding to upgrade.

For more BDSM dating sites related to individual fetishes, see my post: Best Fetish Dating Sites For Every Kink

Kinky Dating Sites Popular with Readers

FindaThreesome.com

While it’s not specifically a site for BDSM, Find a Threesome is a huge site with over 90 million members to date. People from all over the world use FindaThreesome.com to meet both couples and singles for kinky group fun. If threesomes are your thing, be sure to check out our post about the Best Threesome Dating Sites.

StraponDating.com

What can I say? The strapon fantasy is alive and well and some of the most popular posts here at KinkLovers revolve around pegging and where to meet potential partners. No need to wade through the general BDSM population, just go straight to the source with Strapon Dating, the site for women with strapons and the guys who want to bend over for them.  Read more on Pegging & Strapon Dating Sites.

Honorable Mentions

Fetish.com

If you’re interested in trying a newer site for fetish lovers, check out Fetish.com. This is an excellent fetish dating site for those in the UK and Germany as this is where the site began. You can expect lots of active profiles in those countries. They are also working hard to increase numbers in the US, so while it might be a little sparse for those in smaller towns, it could be worth logging in to connect with other kinky early-adopters. Best of all, it’s free to join and take a look around. We’d love your feedback in the comments!

Alt.com

You may have come across some other BDSM hookup sites that promise the opportunity to meet doms and subs online. Alt.com is a massive player, but I didn’t mention them above as they share the same database and features as BDSMDate.com.

I had a few free options listed here as well but have since removed them as I received so many negative comments about them. In lieu of those recommendations I’ve added to the the sub-niche sites above for those with particular kinks such as group and strapon hookups.

More BDSM Dating Sites and Tips

Don’t see what you’re looking for? There are more promising BDSM sites than you can imagine. You can find additional suggestions on the following pages for finding partners who share your particular kink: Best S&M Dating Sites for sadomasochistic dating, and Best Bondage Dating Sites for bondage lovers.

Once you’ve found a site that matches your desires, there are many ways to ensure a positive experience and get the most out of your online community. You can find some good tips for kinky dating success at the bottom of my article, Kinky Dating Sites: The Kink Lovers Guide, including ideas for creating a next-level BDSM profile.

You may also want to read up on how to avoid BDSM dating site scams, and the importance of practising safe BDSM dating. Remember, BDSM relationships can and should be healthy relationships. Make sure you understand the importance of consent, communication, equality, and safety considerations of healthy BDSM relationships and dating.

A lot changes in this online dating space, very quickly. I try to keep things as current as possible and do update this list when I can. If you see something different on one of these sites to what has been written about them in our dating site reviews, please let us know in the comments of that particular post. I will do my best to correct any details that may have changed.

Good Luck and Enjoy!

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If an article lists Alt.com as anything but 100% scam full of fake messages, either the author is completely ignorant of the subject they are writing about, or the entire article is a scam paid for by criminal ripoff sites like Alt.com. Fetish.com is the only legitimate site in this entire article.

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