Fetish and Kink. What’s the difference? If you’re new to the BDSM world, you may be wondering or using these terms interchangeably.
Fetish
a. part of the body, object, action, etc. acting as a focus for sexual desire.
With fetishes, sexual fulfillment (orgasm) requires the presence of an object, whether that is a body part, piece of clothing, sex toy, or even food. It may also refer to what one does with that object. If you can’t achieve climax without some kind of pain, that’s a fetish too. If you can’t come without whipped cream being licked off your back, that’s also a fetish.
Kink(y)
a. given to or involving bizarre or unusual sexual behaviour.
b. (of clothing etc.) bizarre in a sexually provocative way.
c. strange, eccentric.
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Kink, unlike fetish is a sexual preference that is nice to act out but not necessary for sexual satisfaction. You may still want your handcuffs in the play or your lover to wear stilettos and a strap-on, but if neither is there, it’s not going to stop you from coming. Kink also refers to behaviours (threesomes, spanking, voyeurism, golden showers, etc.) or a particular chosen lifestyle (dom/sub, master/slave).
Somewhere outside fetish and kink lies the good old fashioned turn on – anything that brings you pleasure and excitement before a sexual act. You know what a turn on is when you get hard or wet, and often it can surprise you – the colour of a woman’s lipstick, a mole pattern on her inner thigh, or maybe a barely perceptible lisp.
How do you define fetish or kink? What’s your biggest turn on?
Tell us what you think