Best Kinky Dating Sites: 2020 Edition

Hello Kink Lovers! Welcome to our list of the best kinky dating sites of 2020. I’ve done my research and here are the best of the best when it comes to meeting kinky partners online.

I really want the reader’s here at Kink Lovers to understand WHY I chose these sites, so after I list them I’m going to answer some additional questions that will hopefully make things clear. I understand how hard it can be to find legitimate reviews of legitimate sites these days, so hopefully I can help you weed through the nonsense and make a selection that suits your kinky needs.

Disclosure: I have or had a full membership at all of the following sites, and will only promote those that I know to be the real thing. Once I’m comfortable recommending a site I sometimes use links that provide a small compensation if a reader decides they’d like to upgrade. It costs nothing extra, and I only benefit if you like my picks – which helps me keep this kinky blog going!

1. Alt.com

If you join just one kinky site this year, head to Alt.com and enjoy the largest kink dating community. This is one of the sites that I’ve kept a long-time membership at because it simply has more to offer than all the rest in terms of membership numbers and features. Not everyone in the lifestyle thinks it’s the cat’s pyjamas, but for the average person looking for kinky hookups and a fun, anything-goes platform, Alt.com can’t be beat. Make your kink and fetish clear in your profile, and get ready to connect with kinky like-minded people who’d like to explore with you.

Create my profile at Alt.com Now

2. BDSMSingles.com

Another veteran of kinky dating, BDSM Singles continues to deliver and is still going strong. They could use a bit of an upgrade design-wise, but they still make it to the Kink Lovers list for their longevity which has led to the all-important aspect of membership numbers. Lots of kinky singles to be found here, and the features are simple and straight-forward. You can’t narrow things down by fetish as easily as you can at Alt, but if you’re seeking people into your specific fetish, then I recommend you go even more niche and try a fetish dating site that matches your kink. See our post on fetish dating sites for every kink.

3. Sub-or-Dom.com

Are you a submissive or dominant? Either way, this site serves as a meeting ground for kinky subs and doms to get together. Sub or Dom is a newer site than those above, but has quickly gained a foothold and amassed a large member base. It was started in the UK, so if that’s where you are then you should do very well, but they’ve been expanding into the US, Canada, and other english speaking countries for awhile now and have good numbers. I’m in Toronto and have had no problem connecting with lots of local guys here. What’s to love? This site stands out for offering more free features than others, and gives you a chance to explore more fully before considering an upgrade.

Dating Sites for Specific Kinks

While it’s true that some people consider themselves “kinky” in general, there are many who know exactly what turns them on and identify with one kink in particular. Some are foot fetishists, some are bondage lovers, and others.. well, the list could go on and on! That’s why I’ve been working hard to put together more pages that list the best sites for people with niche tastes. If this applies to you then maybe one of the following posts will be of help..

Best Threesome Hookup Sites
Pegging Dating Sites for Strapon Lovers
Best Foot Fetish Dating Sites
Spanking Dating Sites That Work
Best Fetish Dating Sites For Every Kink

And now our honorable mention:

FetLife.com

More social network than dating site, FetLife is just as good for making friends in the lifestyle as it is for meeting kinky potential partners. I don’t suggest this site if you’re looking to make quick connections and find easy hookups. It’s more community-based and success on this site comes when you allow yourself to become a little more involved. For example, there are many, many discussion groups for particular kinks, and even member blogs like Alt.com offers. If you have a specific fetish you might consider joining in a group chat where you can then move onto one-on-one chat, or start ‘following’ the pages of members who are like-minded. Basically a sort of kinky facebook. Fetlife is not entirely free but it offers a lot without an upgrade. Members will need to upgrade if they want in on all the hot videos that are available.

Why are there only 3 sites on the Kink Lovers List?

When looking for the best kinky sites for dating and hookups, you may have noticed lists that contain upwards of 10 or more sites for BDSM, kink, and fetish. It’s enough to make your head spin, and to be honest it can be quite misleading in many cases. This is because there are really only a handful of legitimate sites in this niche.

What’s happening here? Well, often a site will have many different brands, but the inside is the same. This happens because a company like Hubpeople, who operates Sub-or-Dom.com, offers marketers the opportunity to re-brand their sites. So sometimes when you see ads on Google for BDSM or kinky dating sites, many of them are actually leading you to the same place. Another example of this is BDSMdate.com, which has the same members and inner workings as Alt.com, with just some minor differences.

I don’t want to offer you a list of sites where half of them are the same once you reach the inside. So the sites above are all the original brands. By the way, the whole practice is called “whitelabeling”, and it’s really not a bad thing, but occasionally it can get a bit confusing.

Why are there no kinky dating apps on our list?

There are a couple reasons I don’t have any kinky apps on our list here at Kink Lovers. First of all, I still haven’t found one that makes the grade. There are some well intentioned apps out there, but as of writing this none of them have the numbers or popularity that allow me to recommend them. I’m not going to send our readers to an app where they can’t connect with thousands of local kinksters. When this changes, I’ll post those apps.

Secondly, I’m a nudist. Haha, what!? Okay not really, but as a frequent user of niche dating sites I’ve gotten kind of addicted to the naughtiness, nudity, and free-for-all attitude that comes with the best kinky sites. The apps out there are too tame for me!

Why don’t the best kinky dating sites above have apps?

The reason sites like Alt.com and the others don’t have apps in the App Store or on Google Play? Simply, Apple and the big G don’t allow apps with nudity. And there is so much naughty action on these sites that it’s impossible for them to create PG versions that would be acceptable to the censors. It’s not just profile photos either – Alt.com is full of user-generated videos that are just too exciting for apps!

I hope you find what you’re looking for on one of these sites. I do my best to point our readers in the right direction and wish you all the best of luck!

xo Lola

KinkLovers.com is the blog for men and women into BDSM, bondage, fetishes, and dating. We post tips and advice for those interested in meeting other kinky singles with online dating, or anyone who wants to spice up their relationship. Enter the world of Kink Lovers with exclusive articles, polls, site reviews, reader stories and more. If you would like to subscribe to our blog updates which are sent only twice monthly, please subscribe to our newsletter using the form above.

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