Best Kink Sites and Dating Apps for 2023

Welcome to our list of the best sites for kink dating in 2023. I’ve done my research and here are the best of the best when it comes to meeting kinky people online.

I want the readers here at Kink Lovers to understand WHY I chose these sites, so after I list them I’m going to answer some additional questions that will hopefully make things clear.

I understand how hard it can be to find legitimate reviews of kink sites and dating apps these days, so hopefully, I can help you weed through the nonsense.

Join me as I explore the ins and outs of picking a legit kink dating site, and point you to some niche options for finding like-minded partners.

kink dating text on image of kinky woman holding handcuffs.

Top Kink Sites for Kinky Dating

Disclosure: I have or had a full membership at all of the following sites. Once I’m comfortable recommending a site I sometimes use links that provide a small commission when a reader decides to upgrade. It costs nothing extra, but helps keep our kinky blog alive!

When you’re looking to meet other kinky people, taking the search online is a natural step that can greatly broaden your opportunities. But where to start?

1. Alt.com

If you join just one kinky site this year, head to Alt.com and enjoy the largest kink dating community. This is one of the dating sites that I’ve kept a long-time membership at because it simply has more to offer than all the rest in terms of membership numbers and features.

Some of these incredible features include member-to-member video chat, topical chat rooms, member blogs, and video introductions. And it’s all happening in a sex-positive, inclusive environment where nudity and naughtiness are not only tolerated but encouraged.

Not everyone in the lifestyle thinks Alt is the cat’s pajamas, but for the average person looking for kinky hookups and a fun, anything-goes platform, Alt.com can’t be beat. Make your kink and fetish clear in your profile, and get ready to connect with like-minded kinky people who’d like to explore with you.

Join Alt.com Now

Kink dating site Alt.com.

2. BDSMSingles.com

Another veteran of kink dating, BDSM Singles continues to deliver and is still going strong. They could use a bit of an upgrade design-wise, but they still make it to the Kink Lovers list for their longevity which has led to the all-important aspect of membership numbers.

Lots of kinky singles to be found here, and the features are simple and straightforward. You can’t narrow things down by fetish as easily as you can at Alt, but if you’re seeking people into your specific fetish, then I recommend you go even more niche and try a fetish dating site that matches your kink. See our post on fetish dating sites for every kink.

Join BDSM Singles

3. CouplesDating.com

Couples Dating isn’t specifically a site for kink and fetish but it does cater to some kinky communities, so let me tell you a bit about it. Couples Dating is part of the AdultFriendFinder.com network which means the member base is massive, so finding couples or a unicorn here is no problem. They also offer features you won’t find on any mainstream hookup site such as streaming video chat, and nudity is completely welcome.

Couples Dating is the site I often recommend for people who’s kink involves multiple partners, group sex, or threesomes. For example, cuckold couples and hotwife lovers frequent this site. So if you’re looking for a third, or want to find cuckolding couples and bulls, create a profile and check out this kink-friendly dating site.

Join Couples Dating

Sexy Couple Watching Laptop in Bed

Honorable Mention: FetLife.com

More social network than dating site, FetLife.com is just as good for making friends in the lifestyle as it is for meeting kinky potential partners. However, I don’t suggest this kink website if you’re looking to make quick connections and find easy hookups. Fetlife is more community-based and success on this site comes when you allow yourself to become a little more involved.

For example, there are many, many discussion groups for particular kinks, and even member blogs like Alt.com offers. If you have a specific fetish you might consider joining in a group chat where you can then move onto one-on-one chat, or start ‘following’ the pages of members who are like-minded.

Basically, Fetlife is sort of kinky Facebook. This kink community is not entirely free but it offers a lot without an upgrade. Members will need to upgrade if they want in on all the hot videos that are available.

Kink Sites for Specific Interests

While it’s true that some people consider themselves “kinky” in general, there are many who know exactly what turns them on and identify with one kink in particular. That’s why I’ve been working hard to put together more pages that list the best kink apps and dating sites for people with niche tastes. If this applies to you then read on.

It takes a bit of research to uncover the best of these sites, but I’ve done that part for you and have recommendations for all of the following types of specialty kink dating sites.

BDSM Dating Sites

BDSM dating sites are the gathering place of Doms and subs, bondage lovers, and S&M enthusiasts. The best of them, BDSMdate.com, welcomes all kinks, all genders, and even couples.

To see our full list of BDSM sites see Best BDSM Dating Sites.

Well dressed couple on kinky date.

Pegging Dating Sites

Strapon dating and pegging sites are actually pretty hot right now. Whether you identify as a submissive, or just love a good pegging, why not try a site that enables you to be open about this kink from the very first date?

Head to my recommendations for the Best Pegging Dating Sites.

Bondage Dating Sites

Bondage dating sites are pretty self explanatory. For those who want to be tied up, and those who know how to tie the knots.

To find bondage partners, check out the Best Bondage Dating Sites.

Foot Fetish Sites

Foot fetish dating sites are for foot worshippers and anyone interested in playing with other foot lovers. Dominants looking to be served might start here as well.

If feet turn you on and you’d like to connect with others who are eager to play, try: The Best Foot Fetish Dating Sites

Spanking Sites

Spanking dating sites bring together a range of people – from those who enjoy a light paddling in the bedroom to members seeking full D/s relationships involving spanking.

If the urge to spank or be spanked looms large when you think about meeting new partners, you should read Spanking Dating Sites that Work.

Kinky Sites for Couples

Just because you already have a partner doesn’t mean the search has ended. For couples looking for new sexual adventures, couple-friendly dating sites can pave the way.

The best kink sites for couples make it easy to create a profile together. Couple profiles are the key to being found by eager bisexual thirds, or hotwife hunting bulls. While you can join Alt.com as a couple, you may also be interested in the following niche categories.

Threesome Dating Sites

Certainly not just for the kinky, the threesome fantasy is alive and well. But millions of people are out there turning fantasy into reality with threesome hookup sites for couples and the unicorns they seek.

See my list of the best of them here: Best Threesome Hookup Sites

find a threesome hookup

Cuckold Kink Sites

Cuckold dating sites are about as niche as it gets. Head to this type of site if you’re in a cuckold relationship and want to find local men. Even single guys who get off on having sex with a woman while her man watches can find satisfaction if they impress the right couple.

We’ve got your cuckold sites here in How to Find Cuckold Couples & Bulls Online.

Hotwife Kink Sites

Hotwife dating seems to be growing in popularity these days as well. Perhaps you and your hot wife need help finding new hookups for her, and want to browse through profiles of hot guys who are up for the challenge.

See our hotwife dating site suggestions and for more information on finding a Bull, read How to Find a Bull for Your Hotwife.

Kink Dating Apps

My personal arsenal for online kink dating doesn’t include any apps. There are two reasons for this:

  • None of the kink apps available thus far are ready for the big time. Glitchy software, fake profiles, and the absolute worst – not enough members.
  • Censorship and lack of nudity. I don’t like how vanilla the kinky apps have to be to make it into the app stores. After years of hanging out at BDSMdate.com and enjoying the hyper-sexual community there, I guess I’ve just been ruined.

There are some well intentioned kink dating apps out there, but as of writing this none of them have the numbers or popularity that allow me to recommend them. Finding a kinky partner is hard enough, I’m not going to send our readers to an app where they can’t connect with thousands of local kinksters. When this changes, I’ll post those apps.

Also, as a frequent user of niche dating sites I’ve gotten kind of addicted to the naughtiness, nudity, and free-for-all attitude that comes with the best kinky sites. The apps out there are too tame for me!

Woman in bed using kink dating site on phone.

Why don’t the best kink sites have apps?

The best sites for kinky dating have been allowing nudity and x-rated member content for many years. Because the Apple app store and Google Play don’t allow nudity it’s simply a no-go for them to convert their sites into apps. This includes not only kink dating sites but community sites like Fetlife.

There is so much naughty action on these sites that it’s impossible for them to create PG versions that would be acceptable to the censors. It’s not just profile photos either – Alt is full of user-generated videos that are just too exciting for the app store!

Web apps (browser-based dating sites) are the way to go for now. They’re also good if you want to be discreet because you won’t have that kinky app installed on your devices.

Want to try kinky dating apps anyway?

Take a look for yourself. If any of them proves to be a winner for you, please let us all know in the comments.

A couple of the kink apps I checked out, that seem to get the most attention, are KinkD, and Kinkoo.

You will find glowing reviews of these apps on sites that are making money from downloads, but be sure to assess the reviews written by real people at the app stores. That’s where you will learn about the bugs, the bots, and the fake accounts, as well as the limitations. For example, many of them don’t even let you search by distance or location because that would reveal how few prospects you actually have.

Hopefully in a few years one kinky hookup app will come out on top, and we’ll truly have the Tinder of kink dating. Until then, mobile-friendly dating sites or “web apps” are still the way to go.

Woman in lingerie sitting on bed and using kink site on her phone.

Choosing the Best Kink Sites and Apps

Here at Kink Lovers, we’ve written a lot about kinky apps and dating sites over the years. As someone who specializes in niche dating, exploring and discovering all the specialty sites for kinky people has been a lot of fun.

Before recommending any kink site to our readers, there are four important aspects I consider. To be listed as one of the best kink apps or websites, they must meet the following criteria.

1. A large number of members.

There’s no point in looking for matches in a ghost town. Most new kink apps, and a few super-niche sites have so few active members that finding someone local is futile. Go big or go home!

2. Safe and secure, with discretion for those who want it.

Why do the best sites require membership to search? Well, you probably wouldn’t want your profile on display for the world to see so easily either.

Membership kink sites, and paid sites in particular, offer a level of privacy that is important for most kinksters. And the best of them have additional privacy controls for the information you upload, particularly photos.

Read: Avoid Scams on BDSM Dating Sites

3. Easy to find partners with your kink.

It shouldn’t be difficult for you to connect with other online daters who share your kink. There are ways to increase your exposure to like-minded people, but the site should offer some straight-forward searching options to begin with.

4. Profiles for couples, when it makes sense.

I’ve been covering dating sites for close to 20 years, I can tell you that there’s been an explosion in the number of couples using sites to find threesomes, polyamory relationships, and kinky exploits. Most sites haven’t caught on yet and still don’t offer couple profiles, but the best ones do.

Kinky BDSM Couple

Why are there only 3 sites on the Kink Lovers List?

When looking for the best kinky sites for dating and hookups, you may have noticed lists that contain upwards of ten or more sites for kink, BDSM, and fetish. It’s enough to make your head spin, and to be honest it can be quite misleading in many cases. This is because there are really only a handful of legitimate sites in this niche.

What’s happening here? Well, often a site will have many different brands, but the inside is the same. For example, this can happen when dating companies offer marketers the opportunity to re-brand their sites. So sometimes when you see ads on Google for kinky dating sites, many of them are actually leading you to the same place. Another example of this is BDSMdate.com, which has the same members and inner workings as Alt.com, with just some minor differences.

I don’t want to offer you a list of kink dating sites where half of them are the same once you reach the inside. So the best kink sites above are all unique with their own database of members. By the way, the whole practice is called “whitelabeling”, and it’s really not a bad thing, but occasionally it can get confusing.

Tips for Kinky Dating Site Success

You’ve chosen and joined a site for your particular fetish or desire. Now follow these tips for making the most of your kink dating experience.

Write a killer kink dating profile.

Stand out by creating the best profile that you can. Complete all fields, add photos even if you choose ones that obscure your face, and be sure to put your kink front and centre to attract the right potential partners.

If you’d like more help with your kink dating profile, take time to read our tips for writing a kink dating profile.

Be active & use all features.

The best kinky sites offer everything from video introductions and streaming video chat to member blogs. You can and should take part in user groups for specific fetishes and kinks, create a video of your own, read member content, and enjoy the community aspect.

The more you get involved, the more you will stumble upon opportunities and become increasingly visible to other members.

Remain open to what you might find.

While I always support the setting of goals and the power of detailed fantasies, please remember that everyone you encounter has their own ideas as well. What this amounts to is a chance to discover incredible situations and connections you haven’t even thought of yet. But you need to be open to those possibilities so don’t let a single-minded focus be akin to putting on blinders and missing out.

Play safe with new kink partners.

Joining a kink dating app or website can be an exciting and liberating experience, especially for those who’ve been challenged by dating with a kink. It can be easy to get carried away when you start actually meeting partners who are ready to explore with you in person.

Please don’t forget how important it is to follow some safety rules. Read our Tips for Safe BDSM & Kink Dating.


So there you have it – the Kink Lovers guide to kinky dating sites. I hope I’ve been able to help some of you out. Niche dating sites are becoming part of a more crowded and competitive space, so I know it can be difficult to separate the claims from the true cream of the crop.

If you’re still looking for the best site for your particular kink and I haven’t addressed it here, feel free to comment and together we can find something that fits.

Do you have experience with any of these kink sites? Which kink apps have you already tried?

xo Lola