BDSM Dating

BDSM Profile Writing Tips

Writing an online dating profile is difficult for everyone. Writing a profile for a BDSM dating site poses even more challenges.

The keys to attracting what you’re looking for are honesty and clarity. Here are tips for writing a kinky profile that will help you find a suitable match.

How to Write a Kinky Dating Profile

What to include.

Identity

How do you define yourself in the BDSM community? If you’re a newbie you’ll want to familiarize yourself with definitions. You may be a submissive, but not a slave. Maybe you’re a dominant with a masochistic streak. Be specific.

Experience

Once you’ve stated your identity, you’ll want to explain how you came to be this type of person. If this is new to you, say so. Do you also want someone that is new to BDSM, or are you looking for a teacher?

Relationship

Be open if you’re already in a relationship and state whether your current partner is aware of your online presence. Be clear about what you want – your personal preferences. Some people have no intention of meeting others in real life and that’s okay as long as you admit this in your profile.

Sexual Interest

Some people think BDSM is all about sex, usually those new to the scene. The intricate intimate relationships the community offers explores much more than sex. Talk about how you view the connection and how important sex is in the BDSM relationship(s) you seek.

Outside BDSM

Kink is only a part of us, so share aspects of yourself that reflect the whole of your being. What interests or passions keep you motivated? Do you travel a lot for work? Are you busy raising children? These things will give people a clearer picture of who you are.

Profile Photo

Post a recent photo that isn’t your best or worst. You want to attract people but not disappoint them when you meet face-to-face. And don’t use a sexually overt picture – remember, it’s not all about sex.

Clarity will help you attract people best suited to you and avoid wasting time. Honesty will earn you respect in the BDSM community and protect your reputation.

Once you have a great BDSM profile set up, read our tips for getting more messages: 5 Tips for Attracting Online Dating Messages.

Not sure which site to set your profile up on? Learn about all the options for meeting kinky partners: Kinky Dating Sites: The Kink Lovers Guide.

What You’re Looking For

Too many “must be”s makes a potential partner feel inadequate. So while you want to share enough about yourself and what your bdsm proclivities are, be open by using “I” statements (e.g. I enjoy…, I’m into…), rather than “must be” statements. It’s a simple fix that will go a long way in boosting your online dating responses.

Keep in mind that if you don’t ask for what you want, you may never get it.

I know you might feel shy about saying exactly what turns you on. I get it. It’s a vulnerable thing, especially if you happen to be kinky as fuck… but if you don’t say so, nobody will ever know.

Know that somebody out there likes what you do.

Yes, 99.9% of the world isn’t into your thing, but somebody is. Your kink is probably shared by more people than you imagine. There are all sorts of folks into golden showers, bondage, feathers, adult babies and diapers, and putting vegetables up their backsides.

Be open and honest about what you want.

That’s the beauty of online dating—you have the freedom of being virtually anonymous until you meet a possible match. Being up front will save you having to engage in awkward conversations later because you didn’t clearly state your intentions.

Be cautious and use safety precautions.

Remember that they might be as crazy as you are, and so a few exercises in trust can’t be a bad thing.

Take profile pictures that stand out.

Put on those panties that really show off your bulge. Put on that latex bodysuit that displays your awesome curves. There are tricks to photographing yourself that make you less easy to identify, but more sexy.

Believe that you and your kinks are sexy.

Don’t get hung up on being fat or skinny, the size of your tits or cock—anything. Someone out there will be into you. Someone out there is always into everything, or something. Being desirable is about projecting confidence, not worrying how you look!

Pick a great kink handle.

You want to grab people’s attention. Want to get whipped? Call yourself “YeOldeFloggingPost.” People might laugh, but then they’ll come over and flog you and tell you what a bad boy you’ve been. I might come over and whip you myself!

Kinksters: What else do you include when writing an online profile? 

Tell us what you think!

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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