Just the Tips

Where to Find a Dominatrix

Dominatrix in Cat Suit

You love it when she takes control. If you’re looking to meet a kinky woman to take the reins, you might be wondering where to find her.

How to Find a Dominatrix

Dommes are in high demand. A lot of submissive guys think dominant women are going to snap up anyone willing, but there aren’t many dominant women with empty dance cards.

Channel your competitive side to attract a domme.

Say what? Yes, you have to amp up your dating game. You can’t just lie back with a “ready and willing” sign and expect dommes to break down your door to get to you.

Being “more willing” than the next guy assumes dominant women are lacking in willing options. They’re not.

You have to be attractive to a dominant woman, not just available. Highlight your interesting personality, your quirks, your attributes, your strengths, and your accomplishments—things that make you attractive to women.

A dominatrix doesn’t just want a checklist of sex things you want her to do to you. Every woman has a looooooong lineup of those.

Attend fetish parties and kink nights.

As with any community of like-minded people, socializing over a few drinks and music is a tried and true way of mingling and meeting people to date or hook up with.

It’s always fun to dance, express yourself through your wardrobe, and watch the world of kink around you.

Fetish nights are a lot of fun and sometimes lead to sex, but just as it is with meeting in bars for other communities—blues fans, hockey and chicken wing fans, electronica fans—you’re more likely to dabble or have a one night stand than find a lasting relationship. If that’s what you’re looking for, fantastic.

Get out to BDSM munches.

Munches are social mixers for kinky people. The goal is not to hook up with a hot domme after the brunch, but to get to know other kinky people in your area. Think of a munch as a segue to a larger community that includes dominant women.

Join dominatrix dating sites.

Online dating is convenient and effective for niche interests. There are lots of great BDSM and fetish dating sites. But be aware that domme women looking for love and sex online are inundated with hundreds of messages and “applications.” It can be harder to meet a dominatrix online than connecting with other niches or kinks.

See our list of the best BDSM dating sites for finding a local dominatrix.

Communicate on kinky social media.

Fetish social media sites like FetLife aren’t the same as dating sites. They are about building community and sharing interests. Don’t scroll through to find a dominatrix. Use the resources to meet people nearby, find events like munches, and learn about businesses in your area owned by fellow kinksters.

Support and get to know the people who share your lifestyle.

Consider cultivating your existing relationship.

There are lots of kinky women who are not experienced dommes. There are lots of women who want to explore their kinky side but haven’t met the right person to experiment with.

It can be really exciting to develop domination and submission together in a relationship, learning the ropes with each other.

Going to kinky workshops and events and experimenting at home in bed with someone you like and trust might be the ultimate way to meet a domme. That way, you naturally grow tailor made for each other.

Hire a professional dominatrix.

One way to avoid wasting a woman’s time—and yours—if you’re looking for specific kinky thrills and not for the intrigue of dating or a longer term relationship, is to hire a dominatrix.

Yes, it can be expensive, but the benefits are convenience, consent, and her equipment and paraphernalia. You can read a little about the professional dominatrix experience in this Huffpost piece.

This is also a great option if you’re new or still experimenting to find out what you want and don’t want. Exploring those things with a professional can be safe and comfortable for both of you.

Do you have experience with a dominatrix? Please share in the comments!

Tell us what you think!

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Donny
Donny
15 days ago

Yes, many years as sub for Doms. Exciting & fun!

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