Just the Tips

How to Find BDSM Events and Have a Good Time

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Want to learn all kinds of really cool things about leather and kink? Want to hang out with a wonderful plethora of Doms and subs and switches and fetish folks? Want to go to a place where you can pick up whips and chains and paddles and floggers—oh my! Want to maybe even hook up with the playmate of your BDSM dreams?

Then get thee to a BDSM event! Depending on the organizers, and the focus of them, these kinky shindigs can offer most, if not all, of the above and then some.

But how does one actually find—and enjoy—BDSM events?

Where to Find BDSM Events

Look for BDSM Events Online

This is the age of the internet, so get your fingers tapping to begin your search with “BDSM Events (insert area you live in or are planning to visit.)” Or, if you’d prefer, you can simply look for “Kink Events” and whittle down your options from there.

Looking for larger events beyond your hometown? See our article for Bondage & BDSM Conventions.

Ask the Kink Community

One of the best ways to learn what events might be the best to attend is to start locally. Check out the web (again) for local kink meetings—such as BDSM munches where kinksters get together to chat—and ask folks there what events they recommend.

Read: 8 Tips to Find Your Kink Community

BDSM munch event

Start Where You’re At

Unless you’re quite experienced in public BDSM, it might be best to pick the events that are open to new folks. They aren’t too hard to find and, worst comes to worst, you can always reach out to the organizers—or friends who might already be going—to ask if it might be too much for you to handle.

How To Enjoy BDSM Events

So you have your reservation, you’ve packed your bag, and are ready to get your kink mind blown. How do you actually have a good time?

Be There to Learn

You might think you’re the best kinkster to ever raise a whip but if you’ve never been to a BDSM event, then you’re green is fresh-grown grass. Don’t worry, though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

A lot (and we do mean a lot) of BDSM folks love sharing their experiences, knowledge, and skills with those willing to learn. So speak up when you don’t know something, ask questions, admit when you make a mistake, and go from there.

Be on Your Best Behavior

The BDSM scene is all about having a good reputation which, considering it can deal with some pretty serious stuff, is not a bad thing. Don’t you, after all, want to know the person you’re playing with can be trusted to respect your needs, concerns, and limits? Of course!

That’s why you also need to be respectful and conscientious too. So no touching anything or anyone without permission, never fail to respect safe words, and negotiate for everything. If you mess up, sincerely apologize and learn from your mistakes. Do this and before you know it you’ll be seen as someone who’s not just fun to play with but respected as well.

Read: Maintaining a Solid Reputation in the Kink Community

meeting at a bdsm event

Take Your Time

Sure, being at your fist kink fest can be really, really exciting (and then some) but don’t let your enthusiasm turn into impatience.

Some BDSM events will be full of great classes, fun events, wild parties and the like, but others will end up being more sedate and relaxing. Don’t forget, there will always be next year—and far more BDSM events to come.

Read: 3 Reasons to Explore BDSM Slowly

Explore New Areas of BDSM

One of the best things about kink events is that they can open all kinds of doors to otherwise unknown worlds of BDSM fun. So try not to go to your first event (or second or third) just to do what you’ve always done. Instead, talk to folks, make friends, and take classes in things you might not immediately be interested in.

Read: BDSM Education: Where to Learn Online

Pick up something sexy and totally unknown in the dealer’s room, or try something you never thought of doing in the play space. Who knows, you might discover a whole new dimension of play you never would have otherwise dreamed of!

So if you’re game, and we certainly hope you are, then do some searching, find a BDSM event that looks interesting, buy your ticket, learn all kinds of cool things, behave yourself and don’t rush into anything, and have fun exploring kink—and yourself!

If you are open to travelling for your next, or first, BDSM event, be sure to check out our BDSM Travel Guide.

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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