BDSM Clubs: First Time Tips and Inspiration
Curious about BDSM clubs? Want to know what happens at them, and how to find a BDSM club?
A BDSM club is a nightclub or social club where like-mined people gather to share their interest in BDSM, fetish, and various forms of kink. Sometimes there is a space for BDSM play and sexual exploration, and sometimes it’s more about socializing and meeting other kinksters.
Not all BDSM clubs are the same! So if you’ve never been to one, you really need to do a little investigative work with your partner so you know what to expect. Not to worry, this kind of work is fun!
Read: How to Find BDSM Events
BDSM Club Tips
Here are my tips for first timers curious about what to expect at a local BDSM club.
Know what you’re looking for.
You can just leap before looking, but you may end up disappointed. Do you want to meet swingers? Find a third for a threesome? Maybe you just want to watch others have sex.
For those looking for more of a meet up for people in the BDSM lifestyle, you might consider a munch instead.
The BDSM Munch: Everything You Need to Know
Check club event schedules.
Most BDSM clubs host a variety of events that cater to individual kinks and types of relationships. For example, you might want to go when BDSM activities are on the menu, or avoid lesbian night if you’re a straight couple (or not!)
Read reviews.
There are always going to be mediocre and bad reviews at most places because you can’t please everyone. But do read through these online to find out what some of the issues people had such as not enough linen provided or problems with security.
Understand and adhere to rules.
A BDSM club can’t operate without strict rules in place. It’s for your protection as well as theirs. Know them beforehand, so you and your lover don’t make fools of yourselves, or worse—get kicked out.
Set your limits and boundaries before going.
Maybe you just want to look and see what a BDSM sex club is all about the first time you visit. Do you want to give your partner carte blanche to do whatever she wants? If not, talk about your comfort zone parameters beforehand.
Dress up and have fun.
What you will notice is that most attendees do it up, meaning they wear their fetish gear (if that’s what they’re into) or sexy wear and bring a lot of positive energy to the place.
If you’re going through a rough patch with your lover, wait until you’re in a good place to go explore a sex club.
Debrief after the experience.
Whether you engaged in sex with others or just wandered around taking in the sexy sights, have a conversation over breakfast the next day to share your feelings and thoughts.
What turned you on? What didn’t? Do you want to go back? If so, what do you want to do again, try for the first time?
BDSM Clubs to Inspire
The world is full of kinky people, and wherever you go, at least in a large city, there is probably at least one BDSM club to go to!
Would you be willing to travel for a BDSM club? For more information on dungeons and play spaces worldwide, see our guide:
BDSM Travel Guide: Plan a Kinky Vacation.
For a little BDSM club inspiration, take a look at some of these famous BDSM clubs and parties around the world.
Paddles NYC
Paddles is a legendary dungeon in New York City, and one of the only public play spaces left in the bustling metropolis.
Snacks and non-alcoholic drinks can be bought between play sessions on the S&M equipment provided. They also have both gay and hetero play nights, so anyone can join in the kinky fun.
Unfortunately their website is no longer available, but you can find information and contact them on their facebook page.
The Hellfire Club
The Hellfire Club in London, England is mainly a swinger’s club, but they also hold some well-known BDSM parties.
The club has many themed rooms including a dungeon, a classroom for those with a college co-ed fetish, and a cinema where they play kinky movies.
Tabu Social Club
Tabu is a BYOB (bring your own booze) swingers club that also has BDSM theme nights in Baltimore. Members feel comfortable schmoozing, pole dancing and of course fucking and doing BDSM play in private suites or in big group rooms.
Cris et Chuchotements
Cris et Chuchotements is an elegant BDSM club in Paris, France. They host Japanese-themed green tea and sushi nights, along with bondage experts who tie up beautiful models and give demonstrations.
What does their name mean? It translates as Screams and Whispers!
Wherever you go in the world, check out the local kink clubs. It will give you a new perspective on the local BDSM culture.
Looking for more ways to meet people in the BDSM community?
Read: 8 Tips to Find Your Kink Community
Share your BDSM club experience in the comments. Are there any BDSM clubs you recommend?
