Just the Tips

How to Explore Kinks when You’re Single

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Are you single and still looking for a lover to share your kinks with, to play out your wildest fantasies with?

You’re not alone, but you are. There are many men and women in this position, but it doesn’t mean you have to go without indulging your fetishes.

If you’re part of the BDSM community, then you already know all about creativity and imagination—what is needed to keep you going.

Let’s explore what you can do on your own, until you’re face to face with a sexy play partner. I have lots of kinky single friends right now, so I’ve reached out to them for ideas that you might find helpful.

How to Explore Your Kinks Solo

1. Research Tips and Techniques

Use the extra time that you have on your hands to surf the net for information on your favorite kinks or fetishes.

If you long for a threesome, why not read articles or watch videos to learn about positions to try, or check out niche dating sites like FindaThreesome.com where you can meet interested partners. Or maybe there’s a new BDSM activity you want to explore, but you need more info around safety precautions.

See our BDSM education resources for fun ways to learn more and improve your skills.

2. Join a New Dating Site

Whether you’re new to online dating or you’re in a rut because you’ve been on the same site for the last five years, there are so many dating sites out there for kinksters.

Instead of trying to find a compatible match at the local pub or in your night class at college, join a kinky dating site that caters to kinky folks who aren’t afraid to say exactly what they’re looking for in their online dating profiles.

A good starting point is our Guide to Kinky Dating Sites, where we break down all the offerings by fetish and kink.

3. Reach Out to an Ex-Lover

You know you want to. We’ve all been there, on both sides of this coin. The tricky part is making the right choice.

Don’t call someone you’ve hurt or who is in another relationship. Do call someone you shared great kinky fun with and who you’re still on good terms with. Feel it out, and keep your expectations low. It’s a gamble, but sometimes you have that person from your past who fits the bill.

Read: Is Hooking Up with an Ex a Good Idea?

4. Talk To or Meet a Sex Worker

Paying to play is a great option when your prospects are nil to low and you’re itching to act out your kinks. You can even hire a dominatrix who will be well versed in BDSM activities.

If having a stranger appear in the flesh is a little too weird or intimate or unsafe, you can always opt for phone sex. You’ll be comfortable in the privacy of your own home where you can share your fantasies and desires. Most phone-sex operators also offer a video option if you want to go a step further.

5. Adjust Your Kinks for Solo Fun

Did you know that you can fuck yourself in the ass? Yes, there’s a toy for that. You can also indulge your wet-and-messy fetish solo, or try on women’s pantyhose if that’s what turns you on.

There are so many ways to play alone with your kinks when you’re single. And if you just want to watch others act them out, you can always find the specific porn to help tie you over.

Read: Solo BDSM: 5 Ways to Play Alone

6. Explore New Masturbation Techniques

Certain kinks require a partner or two, like role playing and threesomes and the foot fetish. If this applies to your kink, you’ll have to put in on ice until you meet your match.

When you’re alone and feeling frisky, experiment with different ways to get yourself off. Have you tried edging, bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm without release? What about temperature play? Or some mild CBT mixed in? Don’t let being single stop you from getting your freak on!

Read: 5 Ways to Make Masturbation Kinky

What kink or fetish do you still enjoy when you’re single? Please share in the comments.

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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