Just the Tips

5 Ways to Make Masturbation Kinky

Woman's Exposed Torso

So you find yourself touching yourself more than other people these days? Hey, sometimes the world is like that. But you don’t need to fret or frown. You can still blast off satisfactorily, and feel better about your day if you just add a little kink to your normal routine. I have a few ideas.

Kinky Masturbation Ideas

1. Put on a Show

You can’t underestimate how kinky it is to sexually perform for stuffed animals or superhero action figures. Line up your friends on your bed and give them a performance they will never forget. Use a flashlight as a spotlight and pretend that you are Mr. Garrick and your cock is Mr. Keen. Give them some highlights from Hamlet, thrusting your sword through the proverbial curtain of lust until poor Polonius spurts out on your bed spread.

But seriously, a performative aspect can really make it kinky. Try it, and you’ll see what I mean. If you’re feeling brave, do it on video with a friend instead of with bears. You can even perform for an entire kinky community at one of these kinky dating sites.

2. Switch It Up

Try different places in your house, different hands, and different positions. See how you can mix things around. Sitting in front of the computer with twenty tabs open can get to be a drag. Your home is your castle and your domain. It might be fun to see how many spaces you can sew the domain with your seed.

3. Add Anal Pleasure

If your toy box isn’t full of butt plugs and dildos, try a veggie in a condom. Cucumbers, zucchini, and carrots are easy choices—naturally phallic. Celery is a little odder, and I’d avoid pineapple unless you’re an advanced weirdo.

If you’re short on produce, look around your home. Hairbrushes work great too, though not the bristle side. This is kinky. You are stimulating your prostate, and also exploring the bi-side you never knew you had. You might find your way into new orgasmic sensations like this.

4. If You Build It, You Will Come

I suspect most of you have never considered building a homemade masturbation device. There’s no time like the present, my friends. Toilet papers rolls with plastic bags in them, luncheon meat, bread loaves—whatever your imagination can devise.

You can switch up the sensation and get different sorts of experiences as you go about your daily sex routine. If you’re not feeling creative and have a few bucks to spare, you can always order sex toys on the internet. Everything is possible.

5. Imagine, Imagine, You Can Imagine

This might sound crazy, but people used to just imagine things in order to get off—they didn’t use porn at all. This technique still works, although it may take a bit of practice if you’re under thirty.

The exciting part of using the imagination is that the possibilities are limitless—things you can’t even find in porn—and you can use those mental images to get you to the promised land. Still need more inspiration? Check out the list of kinky masturbation ideas over at MyErotica.

Give it time, and have fun fucking around with yourself.

Hey readers, what’s getting you off these days?

Tell us what you think!

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