I’m eminently qualified to write this post. Not only have I weathered my share of embarrassing moments in the sack, but I’ve also led a super embarrassing life in general. If a loud fart disrupted any kind of sombre event within the past forty years, you can be sure that somehow, I was to blame.
But don’t pity me. I consider my awkwardness to be a gift, and you should too! Without my lifetime of embarrassing moments to draw from, I could never advise you on how to comfort your girlfriend when she, say, queefs in your face.
I could even go so far as to suggest that it’s my god given duty to ensure you’re ready for whatever cringe-worthy thing that might happen between your sheets, so without further ado…
Be Kind
It should go without saying, but even if you’re shocked or completely grossed out by the embarrassing thing that has occurred, DO NOT under any circumstance say something mean about it. I’m sure your girlfriend already feels terrible about the fact that she forgot to clear her bum hole for landing. Please don’t add to her misery by freaking out and calling her Stinky McBrownhole.
Make Light of It
By “make light” I mean shrug it off. Tell your girlfriend that it’s not a big deal, and that it could happen to anyone. I know that to some people the words “make light” mean to tease mercilessly until the embarrassed party cries or develops a life-long complex, but please refrain. It can be tempting to resort to humor when dealing with awkward things, but in the case of awkward sexual things, don’t.
Share Your Own Embarrassing Moment
If the whole neutral approach feels too forced, there is a way to get a few jokes in. First, make sure your girlfriend knows that you’re not weirded out by what happened. Give her the chance to collect herself, then launch into a hilarious account of your most embarrassing moment. Making fun of yourself will achieve two things, it will put her at ease, and show her how confident and funny you are.
Move on Quickly
Don’t spend too much time deconstructing the embarrassing thing, or even the moments leading up to it. Do what you can to make your girlfriend feel better, then move on. If she’s open to it, try whatever it was you were attempting to do, again. It’s easier to put the memories of embarrassment behind us when there are more positive memories to take their place.
That said, there’s a danger that in moving on too quickly, the feelings don’t really get resolved and that’s not good either. I’ve got a whole pile of baggage labelled “THAT NEVER HAPPENED” and I fear that one day it’s going to topple over and crush me in my sleep… wait! What was I talking about again?
Dare to share any embarrassing moments you’ve had before, during or after sex?
Tell us what you think