What we experience through all our senses—touch, sight, hearing, taste, smell—has an affect on what kinds of kinks and sexual interests we fall in love with or simply feel drawn to over the course of our lives.
From my own sexual proclivities and from what many of readers write in our Kinky Confessions, the senses matter. Let me share some examples of how each sense can have a profound effect on the kinds of kinks that become part of our sexual repertoires, and stand the test of time.
5 Senses: Kinks and Fetishes
Touch: Beyond the Hand
You don’t have to be kinky to enjoy sensory play. The spectrum ranges from a good old fashioned back rub to cock-and-ball torture devices for guys who like to their touch to include a little or a lot of pain.
Not sure what kind of sensations arouse you the most? Allow your partner to blindfold you, and then touch you gently at first with various objects (so many unique sensations can be found around the home) to gauge your reaction. It’s a fun game of discovery. Temperature can also add an extra element beyond the obvious texture.
Sight: Pantyhose Fetish
More than one reader has shared with us their love for pantyhose, specifically stockings (which sadly for them, most women aren’t wearing anymore).
They have told us that watching, from a young age, their mothers or others rolling them on was the initial turn on, that they felt something they couldn’t quite describe. But what it manifested in later was a fetish for seeing women’s legs and feet in a sheer transparent casing. Perhaps it was the taboo of seeing their mother getting dressed that imprinted a life-long fetish.
Hearing: Slave to Sound
Think about how everyone has a favorite genre of music that attracts them and that they often listen to for life. It may be the sound of the instruments or the voices of the artists. While some of us like being in an environment of high-density sound, others prefer pure silence.
Many kinks incorporate sounds that are music to one’s ears—the smack of a paddle or hand on a lover’s ass, the sucking and slurping during oral sex, the neighing one makes in pony play. And sometimes it’s the absence of sound—eclipsing one’s ability to speak with a ball gag.
Taste: Cunnilingus Cravings
There are three kinds of men who go down (the fourth is the one who doesn’t, and we shall not speak of him!)
The first guy will go down, but can take it or leave it. He usually will in reciprocation but rarely initiates it. The second guy is more than willing, but doesn’t have many skills. He’s young, and over time he will learn the tricks of this trade. Now, the third guy is a real standout because he is a specialist. His taste for pussy involves the actual taste. He’s more than happy to dive right in and enjoy it as his main course.
Smell: Memory Impressions
Maybe you get turned on by the smell of home cooking, or sand and surf, or the scent of wood burning. In many older adults, long-term memories can resurface just from a familiar scent associated with the event.
There are so many external smells in our day-to-day environment, but the pheromones—a secreted or excreted chemical that triggers a social response in members of the same species—is often what really attracts us. And half the time we don’t even see it coming!
I’ve been with men whose sweat was a high for me. I’d keep a shirt that I could smell when masturbating. I’ve also experienced the opposite, wherein I’ve been super physically attracted to someone, but once I got close their scent instantly killed the attraction.
Which sense plays the biggest part in your kinks and fetishes?
Tell us what you think