We develop fantasies and fetishes through external sources in our environment, consciously and unconsciously.
Some of us begin exploring our kinks simultaneously as we become engaged sexually, while others move on from vanilla play as we age and want to broaden our tastes.
I didn’t think about kink until a co-worker bought me a dollar-store dildo as a gag gift when I was in my early twenties. I felt shy and embarrassed, but I did take it home. That dildo became part of my first double-penetration experience a couple years later! That still makes me laugh, in a good way.
If you’re looking for inspiration, here a some good places to start looking.
5 Inspiration Points for Kinky Inspiration
1. Porn
If you’ve got a fantasy or fetish that you’re not sure about, explore it on your favorite porn site first. Sometimes you can get a little more than you bargained for and find some unseemly shit, so keep clicking until something turns your crank. And remember, just because this or that gives you a hard on, it doesn’t mean it will in reality. Porn is good for inspiration, but it’s not like the real thing.
2. Sex Shops
I know that more and more people shop for kinky toys and accessories online for reasons of discretion and more, but it’s not half as much fun as going into a shop with a lover to browse. You will get to know your partner in a different way through their interest or aversion to what’s all around you. For instance, my boyfriend didn’t like my jokes about the strap-ons and huge rubber cocks.
3. Erotica
Whether it’s through blockbuster series like 50 Shades of Grey or online blogs, it’s easy to find inspiration for kinky fun. Most women are more turned on by reading sexual scenes than watching, so if you have any creative writing skills, you can craft some sexy texts or stories to send her before you hookup. If not, read for ideas or techniques that relate to your specific kinks.
4. Online Resources
Need specific information on dominant-submissive role playing? Looking for BDSM safety tips? Want to try anal with your new girlfriend, but don’t know how to ask? Online sites like Kink Lovers are here to help. This is a great place to find inspiration through tips and stories on fetishes and fantasies, and everything in between.
5. Kinky Dating Sites
What’s more inspiring than meeting kinky folks who share your sexual predilections or want to show you something new and exciting. People tend to be much more reserved on mainstream sites, but on niche sites like BDSMdate.com, FindaFemdom.com, or CouplesDating.com, you’ll find a spectrum of kinky men and women looking for casual encounters and more.
Where do you find kinky inspiration? Dare to share in the comments!
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