Just the Tips

Buying Sex Toys for Your New Girlfriend

couple exploring BDSM together

When it comes to sex toys—dildos, vibrators, wands, whips, and masks—most women like to do their own shopping. This isn’t to say there aren’t some couples in dom-sub relationships who love purchasing toys, clothing, and accessories together.

Now what about surprising your new girlfriend with a little something something? Is that a good idea, ever? There are two necessary components to have before buying your lover a toy at your local sex shop or online. One, you need to establish a modicum of trust (she’s not going to let you put those sparkly handcuffs on her or a dildo inside her, without having gotten to know you some.) This might take a couple months, a little less, a little more. Two, you need to know that she is at least into kink lite and what her sexual tastes are, before presenting her with something too outrageous.

When you think of these two factors, you’ll realize that it’s best to play it safe with the first sex toy you gift her. I once had a co-worker, not lover, buy all the women at work dollar-store vibrators. It was a big laugh, but truth be told, that little number did get some action with my next boyfriend!

Here are three toys that play it safe, will add some spice to your new relationship but won’t get you kicked out of bed. If these go well, you can try something a tad kinkier the next time.

Bullet vibrator. This is a go-to for most women because it’s small and portable. She may already have one, but hey, I have two—one for home and one for travel.

Small dildo. Sure, most women like their cocks on the larger side, but you don’t want to overwhelm her, or make assumptions. Go for something with a nice texture and vibrating feature (Stay away from realistic cocks with veins.)

Blindfold and sensory objects. This is something you can enjoy together, blindfolding one another and running a variety of objects over your nude vulnerable bodies.

What you’ll notice about these three suggestions is that they all are geared to giving her pleasure, not pain. If she’s into forms of punishment or humiliation, that’s probably not something she’s going to reveal right off the bat. This might not be something you’re interested in either, but if you are… wait and see.

Tell us what you think!

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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