The hottest days of summer are upon us, dear fellow perverts, and I don’t know about you, but I’m sweating my balls off! Sometimes, the sexiest thing in the world is to cling naked to your lover in the sweltering temperatures, both your bodies bathed in your mingled sweat. But other times, we all need a little relief from the heat. Here’s a refreshing suggestion I’ve got to share with you: make an ice dildo!
Sounds delicious, no? Well . . . far be it from me to dictate how you use your new toy, or which orifice you stick it in, if any. Just do not let the awesomeness of the end result intimidate you, or inhibit you from rolling up your sleeves and trying this.
You need:
-cardboard tube from inside a paper towel roll
-scissors and sticky tape
-condom
-water (don’t use any sugary liquid like juice if you’re going anywhere near a vagina – sugar causes yeast infections!)
What to do:
With scissors, cut all the way down the length of the cardboard tube in a straight line. Now you can overlap the edges of the roll to make the tube the exact diameter that you’d like your frozen cock to be. Wrap sticky tape around the outside of the tube to keep it in this shape.
Now, unroll a condom and let it hang open inside the tube, with the open end up and the rim securely folded over the outside edge of the tube about half an inch, so it will hold water without collapsing. (Don’t use a condom with spermicidal lube, as it won’t freeze properly.) Fill the condom with cold tap water and carefully stand the whole contraption up in your freezer for a few hours until your dildo is frozen. Tie the condom at the top, snip down the length of the tube with scissors to release it, and voila! Get test driving!
Tips!
1. If you leave the icy schlong in its condom, as it melts it will get all watery and sexy and add another dimension to the fun. Also, clean-up is easier this way. Alternately, you may decide to remove it: if this is the case, you can make it look nicer by using boiled (and cooled) water to fill the condom mold first, thus creating a clear, not cloudy, cock. Either way, it is VERY IMPORTANT to quickly rinse your dildo under cold water before use, to prevent it sticking to any body parts like a tongue to a telephone pole. Ugh. Moving on . . .
2. If you want added texture, you can “decorate” the inside of the paper towel tube after you’ve cut it open and before you’ve taped it back up. Think bubble wrap, rope or twine, corrugated cardboard, or anything else that won’t puncture the condom but will add kinky texture.
3. If you’re such a pervert that you’ve made a mold of your own dick in the past with one of those kits, and you’ve still got the mold on hand, use that instead for a little personal touch.
Any of you tried this kinky arts and crafts project before, or got any others to share? Spill it in the comments!
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