Sexual disconnect is probably the number one issue in every relationship. How often have we heard of the husband (or wife) who goes long periods of time without any intimate contact? This often happens in long-term relationships, when one partner has lost interest in sex.
At the same time, the notion that one of them might go out and find satisfaction from another source would be tantamount to cheating. It is a tough situation all around.
How do you avoid all of this from happening? Sometimes it’s hard to know because a person who starts out gamely, wanting sex all the time at every hour of the day, can suddenly get cold and distant, even nasty. Talking about it can make it worse, put more pressure on everything, and sex can all of a sudden feel like a forced act instead of a spontaneous one.
There is no way to know if this will happen to you, but if it does, remember that it is always possible to get out. Wanting sex, and having sex are natural. They are a human necessity that greatly benefits mental and physical health. Having a partner deny you sex over and over again is challenging, and is often the beginning of the end.
Read early signs in a relationship. Don’t assume people change. If the person you are dating just isn’t into blowjobs or swallowing, and you love that, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment. Know what your deal-breaker kinks are before you get involved.
If you like to be a little adventurous and the person you are dating is constantly acting like a wet blanket, why torture yourself? There’s nothing wrong to want a partner who you have sexual compatibility with.
Do you want to have sex in a confession box, in a photo booth at the mall, in the back of a taxi? Wanna be tied up and play with hot wax? Wanna have threesomes? You can avoid meeting incompatible lovers by stating your particular fetishes or fantasies in your online dating profile. This saves not only you time, but also that of others.
Building trust in any relationship, but especially one that explores kink and BDSM, is essential. It can take time, so patience and perseverance are a must when it comes to meeting your match.
When sex dies in a relationship, it’s best to address it and the underlying issues (disinterest in sex is often not about sex at all.)
Before you are unfaithful behind a partner’s back, you may consider opening up your relationship before calling it quits. This might mean looking for a third for threesomes, or checking out the poly lifestyle with secondary partners for you both.
Honor your instincts and desires on your path to sexual satisfaction!
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