One of the great challenges in a BDSM relationship comes when your partner has a fetish that you can’t stand. Even if you are entirely devoted to pleasing your lover, if what she wants is an act that you dread performing, your encounters can be marred by awkwardness, loss of momentum, even resentment.
Let’s say your lover’s thing is wax play, but you’re just not that into it; how can you work around that obstacle, and keep your sex life on track?
Some lovers deal with these problems as a matter of give and take, the basic theory being that if your partner’s kink is something you don’t enjoy, then you should be rewarded with something that you enjoy greatly. This approach can make things feel more equitable, and take some of the bad taste out of your mouth concerning your partner’s fetish.
Of course, if you really can’t abide by your lover’s fetish, and even receiving your own favorite pleasures in return doesn’t sufficiently sweeten the deal, your options are far more limited. Sticking with the example of wax play, if your aversion to it reaches the point of being a deal breaker, your partner will either have to give up the wax, or give up being with you.
Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship, but there will always be some measure of compromise to make with your lovers. Usually, in an otherwise strong relationship, people find a way to work around differences in fetishes, but it’s not easy. Remember that you are asking your lover to give up something they enjoy, and look for ways to make it up to them – ideally, with a new source of pleasure that helps take their mind off the one they gave up in order to keep you.
Read: How and When to Tell a New Partner about Your Fetish
Do you hate your partner’s kink? Have you dealt with this before? Please share in the comments below!
Tell us what you think