Stories

Clearing Your Kink Slate and Starting Over

Young Teacher and Chalkboard

It’s good to be back at my desk again, even though it’s in a new city, and on a new land mass. After the chaos of moving and  packing and unpacking, I am installed and once again on the keyboard.

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A new town is a fresh slate. Nobody knows you, so nobody has any judgment about you. There are no burned bridges. There aren’t bitter exes to run into on the street. There aren’t encounters that went wrong, so wrong, and now it makes it cringe worthy to imagine running into old so and so, who was with me at my worst!

Still, for the dedicated kinkster, a new town can be a bit of a challenge. It takes time to work one’s way into a community, especially one as contingent on trust as the kink community. Building up a rapport with someone you want to choke you with a rope while you fuck is super important. Finding people who know just how lightly or softly to twist your nipple when it’s pinched in an alligator clip isn’t easy.

Where, for example, are the glory holes? Where do people go dogging? Where can I go to meet a street hooker? Where are the sex clubs? How can I find the fastest bus route to a dungeon? This town is a mystery, waiting to be cracked.

Even a person who keeps their kinks secrets, who has never acted on them, has an advantage over me. Even if they have just dreamed about it, if they have lived in this city a while, at least they have been watching and studying the scene. Even if they never have gone in, they know which doors are the right doors to walk past. They know which streets are the right ones to walk down, even if they never stop, and never make eye contact, as down those streets they walk.

So much of kink is about potential, the potential to act. The act itself is sexy, but imagining the act, fantasizing, feeling those first moments of transgression may well be even sexier. The first time you go out with a pair of women’s underpants under your clothes, you are on the path. Even if nobody knows about the silk and the frills around your cock, the thrill is in the secret. The thrill is in the possibility that you could be caught—but you might not be. You might make it, and things might escalate.

Right now you have that, and I, new kid in town, don’t… but I will.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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