If you’re like me then you probably thought something like this when you read the post title… “Eww! Please don’t talk about sex and my mom at the same time!” Like most, I have always preferred to imagine my parents as sexless beings and definitely didn’t want to discuss sexual details with either of them. But something happened to my mom in the last decade that has changed the way I view older people and sex.
Ten years ago at the age of 60, my mom suddenly became seriously into sex. She had a strange reaction to a cortisone shot inserted near her groin, for pain in her hip joint, that somehow awakened a hunger for sex that I wonder if she even possessed in the first place. She began talking constantly about sex – much to the horror of my siblings and I – and determined to embark on the kind of sex life she had always wanted.
But mom was more than just horny. It turned out mom was kinky too! She went to sex industry trade shows and befriended a dominatrix. She brought home riding crops and dildos. Her pile of library books was increasingly filled with erotica about bondage and submission. She wanted to hear all about my own exploits, which led to much sighing and a longing for a sex life that seemed out of reach at this stage in her life. But not for lack of trying.
My father was hesitantly game and my mother was the boss in the bedroom. Thing is, she’s actually one of those subs who top from the bottom. She instructed him on how she would like to be pleasured, dragged him to the doctor for prescriptions to help with stamina, and urged him to be more dominant.  In the end she was disappointed by his inability to perform like the men in her books. Why do I know these things about her and my dad? She has no filter to begin with, and although we resisted listening to her sex tales for a long time, they’re now part of the girl talk between her, my sister, and I.
Now at 70, her libido is stronger than ever. This week my sister took her to a sex shop. Last night she showed me all the things she had bought… porn dvds, g-spot dildos, an attachment for her magic wand, and various flavors of lube. I’ll admit, coming from my mom, this behavior used to shock and embarrass me. Now I see how being open with others about her sexuality, especially with her daughters, has empowered my mom to take control of her life and desires. She knows now that if she can’t get what she wants from my father she can give it to herself and continue exploring.
What have I learned? The importance of a satisfying sex life continues into old age. If you wait until 65 to expose your kinks to your partner it might be too late. Have lots of sex before you get married. 😉
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