My kinky confession this week: I don’t like fingering. You might say in response: “What?!? But it’s a staple as old as the hills. How am I supposed to get a girl wet?” I’m just telling you what’s what, and don’t worry, lots of ladies do love some manual foreplay, I’m just not one of them.
Why don’t I like it? I’ve given this some thought, and I think it’s because it feels so “high school” even though I didn’t even kiss a boy until college. By “high school” I mean that it seems lazy or inexperienced. Plus it’s something I can do myself, so why do I need you. Sounds harsh, but hey, this is a confessional.
Do I tell guys I don’t like it? Not really. I get that it’s a part of every guy’s foreplay repertoire, and I don’t expect that to change. That’s not to say I won’t say or do anything. I’m all about gentle distraction or guidance when it comes to directing in bed. It works, and it isn’t offensive or in any way a threat to a man’s ego.
Dos and Don’ts of Fingering
DO be gentle. Some guys think the harder they press or rub, the better it feels or the bigger a reaction they will get. Nope. It might make you harder, but it usually just hurts and irritates our sensitive pussies.
DON’T go too deep. This also doesn’t usually feel as good as you think it might. It’s like having a pencil dick in there, which doesn’t have the girth to really give the sensation we like or that you’re hoping for.
DO incorporate your tongue. If you do want to let your fingers do the walking, then get up close and personal and go down. Use your fingers to spread the labia, have a taste, and see what makes her unique down there.
DON’T forget to trim your nails. Just like nasty toenails that scrape against a woman’s legs in bed, you’ll want your fingernails to be cut short and filed. There’s nothing worse than having a papercut-like sting on your clit!
DO other foreplay at the same time. Fingering alone is kinda boring, even if you are hitting the sweet spot. It can also make a woman feel self-conscious if that’s all that’s going on. Kiss, caress, squeeze, suck—these all make fingering feel that much better if done in tandem.
DON’T fist without asking. This should go without saying, but I’ve heard just about everything at this point. Most women will never let you fist her (truth) but even if she is curious, it’s something to discuss beforehand for safety reasons alone.
DO pay attention to body language. If she’s arching her back and moaning sweet nothings, you’re on the right track. If she’s moving her legs close together or turning away, try something else.
DON’T spend too much time fingering. We get it, it’s hot to feel a woman while she’s getting wet, or find out how wet she already is. Point is, there are so many other exciting things to do and feel, so don’t linger with the finger too long.
Ladies… and gentlemen, what are your thoughts on fingering?
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