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Coulrophilia: Clown Fetish Fun

Clown

“The guy I’m dating is a clown,” a bestie told me over drinks last weekend.

“Good thing there are plenty of fish in the sea,” I said, making eye contact with a hot bald man across the room. My thoughts had already drifted to whether or not he’d be into both of us, but I’m just dirty that way.

“No, he’s great,” she said. “I mean he’s really a clown. You know, wig, clown shoes, juggling.”

“Great work if you can get it,” I quipped, and took a swig from my bourbon sour.

“I’ve always had a thing for clowns,” she said. “I never said so because it didn’t seem cool.”

“What do you mean, ‘thing’?” I asked. We’ve hooked up with men together, mostly in BDSM and role playing and dress up stuff. But this is the first I’m hearing about it.

“A thing. You know. They turn me on. I can’t describe it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been happy to play circus!”

I thought right away of the rainbow polka-dot stockings in my closet that I’d never worn. With a cute little pointed party hat and a pink bustier…

“I don’t know,” she said. “Clowns seem a little festive for the dungeon.”

“No, not always,” I replied. I think about the recent spate of strange sightings in Carolina, creepy clowns trying to lure people into the woods. I had wondered whether it was some kind of game, or guerrilla advertising. But now I wonder if it’s something else altogether. “They’re not just comic. They’re also terrifying. You know those movies. And those creepy clowns in the woods.” I think about John Wayne Gacy, the killer clown, but wisely don’t say so out loud.

But she just gives me a sly look with that sultry half smile of hers. “Oh, I know,” she says. “They’re terrifying.”

After an hour on Google, I learn that coulrophilia is when people are turned on by clowns. It’s not an official thing but anecdotal to many more people than just my gal pal. It’s a fetish for the exact reasons Nicole mentioned—they’re playful, and they’re terrifying.

Some kinky folk are aroused by the uninhibited silly play, and others because the clown mask parallels their nightmares. Sometimes, it’s the combination.

All aspects of the clown can be titillation triggers. For some, it’s honking the nose. For others, blowing up balloons is a rubber thrill. Some sway into the wet and messy (WAM) or BDSM categories because the kick is actually the pie in the face.

You can even hire a clown to pie you or your party guests, “consenting adult guests only.”

There are a few stories online sharing penchants for Bozo, Pogo, and Krusty the Clown.

And apparently, the sex underground is crawling with clowns.

There is also a huge volume of clown porn, featuring all kinds of men, women and transgender folks. Just Google “clown porn” and you’ll never leave the house.

I don’t know who this doctor is but he writes extensively about all kinds of compulsions and whether his insights are medically or psychologically persuasive or not, I can’t say. But the curious may find something.

All About Clowns is NOT a fetish site. It’s a giant resource for learning the who’s who, the styles of face paintings and kinds of clothing, where to get suits, balloon tricks, and so on.

I can’t help teasing Nicole about this recent revelation, and that’s only okay because we’re old friends and we’ve seen each other naked.

So when she texted to ask if I was free this weekend to hook up with her and some guys, I texted back, “You bet. Send in the clowns.”

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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