“More sex” is on most of our bucket lists. If you enjoy exploring BDSM, you know how difficult it can be to find compatible partners who share your kinks.
Here’s how to get all the kinky sex you want.
Define what your ideal is.
When budgeting, goal making, or planning in any subject area, experts say you have to define your needs and expectations. Simply saying “eat healthier” or “save more money” won’t work. You need to be very specific. “Give up soda, and have fish twice a week” works much better.
“More kinky sex” is a good start, sure, but think for a few moments about what “more kinky sex” means to you. Do you want to be kinkier with the partner you have? Do you want to try new things in bed? What are they? Do you want more partners? Do you want sex more often?
Communicate with your partners.
You can’t expect your lovers to read your mind about what kind of sex you want and how often you want it.
Express yourself. If you already have one or more willing partners, you’re already in the most advantageous position for more kinky sex!
Indulge your partner, and rekindle the flame.
If you have a partner you love but have been having less sex, this is perfectly normal. In long-term relationships, we often prioritize other parts of our life and consider sex together a luxury.
This doesn’t have to happen, but it requires an effort and conscious change for both of you. Long-term couples, especially kinky couples, can enjoy as much sex as they did when they first got together, but you have to put in the time and intention.
So if you’ve both been letting other important needs take precedence over your sexual ones, resolve to fix it. Start having quickies routinely, make time to make out, spoil her the way you did in the beginning, and stop being in a hurry. Plan a few overnight getaways so you have time to get kinky.
Stop being so choosy.
It can be advantageous to be picky, but if you’re not getting any kinky sex, consider if it’s because you are closed minded to the possibilities.
Maybe you turn down most of the connections you get from your online dating profile, or automatically refuse to ask out a woman who doesn’t fit a certain bill.
Can you be open to a wider range of dates? Can you resolve to try her kinks, and enjoy what’s outside your usual?
Update your kinky online dating profile.
If your profile is stale, a fresh update might be all it takes to get a new flood of possibilities for sex in your inbox.
Maintain casual relationships with the same care you use for closer lovers.
If we took better care of the best of our casual connections, meaning staying in touch and not burning our bridges with bad behavior, we could have a steady supply of past lovers who could be occasionally available to us when we desire sex.
People who have regular sex effortlessly invest in their relationships. They either have a loving one-on-one partnership that they work at sexually, or they have many lovers who they enjoy sex with and share mutual respect for.
Imagine being able to call up your old lovers when you want sex or fantasize about them? If you maintain strong and loving ties with even the most casual hookups, this is totally possible. Always treat the women you’re with sexually with respect, even if it’s a casual lover or one-night stand, and you will never lack for sex.
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