5 Signs She Might Be More than Vanilla

There are some women who will share their kinks and fetishes from the get-go, especially in their dating profiles on niche sites that caters to BDSM enthusiasts, but most of us keep our kinks a secret until we get to know someone.

How many women can you think of who got kinky with you the first time you had sex? Not many, I’m guessing. I’ve done it a few times with men I felt I could intuitively trust, which isn’t the smartest thing to do I admit… but it all worked out.

So, let’s say you meet a beautiful woman on a dating site, and you’re ready for your first date, maybe your second. You probably can’t help wonder what she’s like in bed. Is she kinky? Will she share your fetish? Is she into role playing? Spanking? Watching porn together?

Here’s a few signs that she might be down for kinky fun with you.

1. You see a few toys at her place. Maybe you noticed a riding crop hanging on the back of the bathroom door, or a suspicious paddle that has no ping-pong table to go with it. Perhaps there’s a heap of cables or rope that seems out of place in her tidy apartment.
2. She knows what’s going on in her city. She talks about the local sex club or kinky workshops without admitting to going to either. Maybe she mentions the upcoming Sexapalooza in passing to gauge your reaction.
3. She brings up the subject of porn or sex. If she is into kink or BDSM, she’s going to be wondering if you’re more than vanilla too, if you’re compatible with HER kinks. This may be the closest she can come to asking outright, without seeming rude.
4. She talks about a kinky “friend” to you. You can’t assume she’s talking about herself, but maybe just maybe she is. Take note of what kinks and fetishes her friend has and what her own reaction is to it.
5. She tells you she is. Life is short. Waiting until the tenth date to find out if someone is not going to match up sexually, vanilla or not, is a waste of time for both parties. Maybe it will take you to come out and share a few of your sexual proclivities to find out (please wait at least until the second date) if you’re on the right track.

Remember, never assume anything. If you really want to know, just ask… but be ready and respectful for whatever she says in response.