Believe it or not there was once a time when I considered myself to be vanilla through and through. The thought of exploring my kinks seemed completely intimidating and I was (admittedly) repressed. All that changed as I grew older I and met more people. I had lots of different experiences in bed and I grew more comfortable with my body. When I look back at it, I can see that certain thought processes played a role in helping me discover my kinkier side, so I would like to share them with you in hopes that you might feel inspired to explore your own desires.
Pay Attention to What Turns You On
Desire is such a personalized thing. Often we look to society to tell us what we should and shouldn’t find sexy, when really the answer lies within each of us. Think about the times you’ve found yourself getting unexpectedly turned on. Was it in response to a particular scene in a movie or a passage in a book? Did your partner do something new that left a tantalising impression on you? Paying attention to your body is really the first step in discovering what gets you off. Don’t be afraid of what it might be telling you. Embrace it!
Be Open to Fantasizing
A crucial part of being receptive to your desires is allowing yourself to fantasize. Your subconscious mind already knows what you need to feel completely satisfied in bed. The trick is to relax and let your mind wander. What do you find yourself thinking about as you masturbate? Are there any recurring themes that you have yet to explore in real life? Do you feel drawn to certain kinds of erotic imagery? If you could imagine a perfect sexual encounter, what would it involve?
Meet kinky playmates now at BDSMdate.com!
Talk It Out with a Partner
Sometimes talking to a partner about your fantasies can help you realize what they really are. Of course, it can also provide you with an opportunity to experience them for real! Sometimes this leads to a deeper appreciation for your particular kink of interest, but it could also show you that it’s really not your thing. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to voice your curiosity and give it a try. Sharing fantasies is also a good way to get to know your partner better and to encourage greater intimacy in your relationship.
Get Informed of the Possibilities
How can you know what you want unless you know what’s out there? Doing research into different fetishes and online communities might be a good place to start, especially if you’re convinced there’s a kinky beast inside of you, just waiting to come out. Read up on things and ask questions. Open your mind to all the weird and wonderful things you could be experiencing, and before you know it, you’ll be enjoying sex as your most authentic self. It takes courage and self-reflection to discover your kinky side, but it’s well worth it in the end.
Also read: 4 Benefits of BDSM and Kink
Tell us what you think