One person’s kinks can be very particular, and may be completely new, foreign, or downright strange to a new lover. Does that mean the lover, you, shouldn’t indulge your partner’s fetish? I say only if it’s a total turnoff.
Getting to know someone includes not only interacting outside the bedroom, but also inside. You may very well be surprised at what transpires behind closed doors.
Your gentile new girlfriend who asks you to order for her at the restaurant may suddenly appear in latex, with a whip in one hand and a ball gag in the other, after your nightcap at her place. It’s your choice whether you want to run for the hills, or put your dom tendencies down and let her take control.
Trying your lover’s fetish isn’t always about opposite inclinations though. It may be about trying something you’ve never even heard of. I’ve stumbled across many fetishes and kinks in recent years that I didn’t know existed. It really is a Wide World of Kink!
Here’s just a few reasons to go for it, and try a her kink.
Why You Should Try Your Partner’s Fetish
1. You may like it.
Often the very thing that turns us off (I find this to be true when it comes to watching porn) can be what excites us most. So before you tell her that you’re grossed out by the fantasy she shares, at least think about giving it a go.
Fear of the unknown stops many people from exploring new fetishes, but taking risks is often rewarded. Finding out you share a specific kink is one way to feel more connected to someone. It’s a win-win.
2. Sharing fetishes and fantasies builds confidence.
When I was younger I kept my kink closet locked. It wasn’t until I met outspoken adventurous lovers who told me about their secret fantasies or surprised me with a special toy that I was able to open that closet.
For years I always waited for a new lover to start the show-or-tell conversation, but with my last few lovers I’ve felt more confident in going first. It feels good, and I can also handle the sexual rejection that sometimes comes with making the first move.
3. You will explore your limits and boundaries.
It’s easy to say you like this or that, or that you might try this or that, or that you’d never try this or that. But you really don’t know anything until you do!
You might fantasize about being spanked by a woman, but it may not be until you let her that you realize you want to try more submissive kinks—being led around on a leash, or having her penetrate you with a strap-on, or experiencing some cock-and-ball torture (CBT).
4. It will deepen your connection.
If you’re with someone with long-term relationship potential, exploring each other’s kinks is a fast track to building intimacy. While it’s true that you need trust to engage in many BDSM activities, jumping in can result in trust as well.
Sometimes what we are willing to try with one person, we wouldn’t with another. It can be an instinctual trust that allows us to let our guard down or feel comfortable enough to indulge fetishes. When you open yourself up like this, you also learn a lot about the long-term possibilities of your connection.
5. She will be more willing to try your fetish or kink.
Have you been dying to share your interest in an FFM threesome, but she’s already mentioned her fantasy is the less popular MMF threeway?
Just the pleasure of pleasing your partner may be enough for you to try any fetish she throws your way. But if this isn’t the case, you may find some joy in a mutual agreement of sorts: I’ll try yours, if you’ll try mine. Many lovers even get off on this tit-for-tat exchange.
What lover’s kink have you tried for the first time? What was the outcome?
Tell us what you think