If you’re interested in dating a woman who isn’t into the freaky stuff that you are, can you still enjoy hooking up for sex? What about a long-term relationship?
Does your partner indulge your fetishes, and you want to reciprocate with something to please her vanilla nature to make things fair? Do you want to enjoy a one-night stand with a hottie who doesn’t share your kinks, but aren’t sure how it will work out?
Meeting in the middle is sometimes the best way for wildly mismatched partners to enjoy their time together.
Most people enjoy variety in bed or are willing to try kinks for a new partner. If she’s not into the heavy duty whips and chains, cuckolding, or the cum fetish you are, there are still lots of kinks she might be willing to explore.
Mild Kinks to Share with Your Lover
Share Fantasies
If one of you has extreme fantasies and the other isn’t willing to play them out in real time, chances are, the fantasy itself can still be part of the sex. Why not meet halfway by sharing those fantasies while you’re in bed together, even if you aren’t acting them out.
Lots of kinky lovers do this anyways. There are fantasies that are impossible in real life and fantasies that are too elaborate or expensive to be possible every time a couple makes love.
If she’s not up for something in real life, she might be totally into indulging you in your mind.
Make Out in Unusual Places
What we call vanilla sex doesn’t have to be in the same bedroom. There are lots of places to get it on. Spice things up by booking a cheap hotel room, or doing it in the pool. One of the hottest encounters I’ve ever had was in the back of a pickup truck parked on a country road.
Indulge Her Bi Side
Since same-attraction isn’t considered kinky anymore, she may not have mentioned it. But millions of women are turned on by other women. You might enjoy an FFM threesome, which will satisfy your kink for variety or for being humiliated and ignored. Or she might enjoy watching naked girls go at it in porn while you fuck her.
Her bisexual side might also be the ticket to your watching more than just porn. See if she’d enjoy you taking her to the local peeler bar and getting all worked up before you get naked together.
Role Play and Dress Up
Vanilla lovers can still be imaginative. She might not be turned on by the same BDSM props that you are, but her imagination is just as racy. Vanilla girls like my friend Rose love dress up. She has a stunning wardrobe, from cop uniform to black leather to lacy baby dolls with little white pom poms. Yum.
Worship Her Feet
If your kink is a foot fetish—VERY common—the chances that she shares it are almost nil, anyhow. Most women do not have a foot fetish, either for guy’s feet, or for having her feet worked over. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t good, giving and game. I always enjoy putting on trashed sneakers or stiletto pumps if it turns you on that much. Just ask.
What are some mild kinks you’ve found enjoyable for both you and your vanilla partner?
Tell us what you think