Most of us assume our generation invented kink, or that things like polyamory are a new phenomenon.
While it may be true that diverse sexual lifestyles have recently been mainstreamed, and discrimination against people for their tastes and choices is finally being outlawed, kink and alternative sexualities have a long history. Your grandparents might be kinky, and you don’t even know it!
If you’re an older woman or gentleman reading this, you already know that kink knows no age limit. Society tends to view sexuality in general as the domain of youth, but older people know that humans remain sexual beings through all of life’s stages. That includes a diverse range of lifestyles, whether someone is gay or polyamorous or looking for a new life partner after being widowed or looking for several girlfriends into BDSM.
Many older lovers have always been interested or active in kink, and others are discovering kink as a solution to various concerns relevant to older communities.
Why Kink Works for Older Women and Men
1. Kink Offers Sexual Variety
Older lovers have been around awhile. Sex is not new to them. They have had relationships, and perhaps multiple marriages, as well as decades of dating. The stereotype of older folks as asexual, content to sip tea and hold hands is not true for most—even as our sexuality changes, it remains present and important. Older lovers have had the time to explore many interests and curiosities.
Kink and BDSM offer an incredible range of options for experimentation. This is beneficial to those looking for new experiences and adventures at any age.
2. Kink Doesn’t always Focus on Penetration
While the big bang is an important part of sex for some of us, at some point in our lives, the youthful emphasis on penis-in-vagina sex isn’t realistic or fulfilling all of the time.
Women after menopause may find the old in and out uncomfortable or painful. She may need more time to warm up and want to experience more than just penetration. Men of a certain age will find the strength of their erection is not always rock hard, or an erection needs to wait another day or so after orgasm. Instead of settling for nothing, kink offers a world of situational and sensual experiences that involve the whole body and mind.
3. Kink Is Holistic
Holistic refers to the “whole body,” or more accurately to the “whole being,” which includes all dimensions of health—cognitive, spiritual, social, emotional, and physical. In other words, it doesn’t just see the genitalia, but also the mindset, the imagination, wellness, affection, and more.
Kink sees beyond limits such as a walker or surgical scars. It is a full body and mind experience, and this is a wonderful scope for lovers who are looking for and offering more than just a pretty face or pert boobies.
4. Kink Is Creative
Related, but different—part of kink’s holistic quality is how it incorporates our most important sex organ—the brain. Kink is creativity. It uses fantasy, power dynamics, ritual, and an extremely broad range of sensations in the ways it plays itself out.
5. Kink Is Slow Sex
Sure, quickies can be kinky. A spanking can be a brief, brisk, and hot. But overall, kink takes time. It can take hours, even weeks, months, or more, for buildup and set up. There are roles and rules and rituals. Many kinks involve patience and breaks. It isn’t goal oriented—climax, and that’s it—but about play, experiment, emotional and mental engagement. This is ideal for people of diverse abilities and in different age ranges, who can participate sexually in a whole spectrum of ways.
Are you older and kinky? Tell us how kink has benefited your sex life in the comments!
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