Kink has all kinds of benefits. It’s fun, intelligent, creative, fosters high levels of trust and intimacy, and encourages open-mindedness and tolerance.
But one thing I seldom hear anyone talking about is how kinky sex is safe sex.
In the current climate of widespread sexually transmitted infections—HIV, HPV, syphilis, chlamydia—kink has the edge on safety, giving people who are ill a variety of paths to sexual expression, and offering safe options to anyone who wants to reduce their risks.
For kinky people, sex isn’t just about penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus penetration.
The only limits are your imagination, making sex a safe wonderland of thrills and intimate connections.
Why Kinky Sex Is Safe Sex
A few fetishes are high risk, but there are thousands of alternatives.
Yes, there are some fetishes that carry extreme health risks—choking or asphyxiation, for example, or practices involving the consumption of feces or semen, or blood sports.
But most kinks have opportunities for risk-free engagement. Lots of kinks leave lovers completely clothed such as mummification, orgasm denial and restraint practices, voyeur or exhibitionist play, and more. Many come with options that limit fluid or genital-to-genital contact, such as spanking, foot fetish, sex-toy insertion, and breast play.
Kink gives alternative paths to fluid exchange.
Genital-to-genital sex is where most risk happens. But kink can involve one person’s genitals at a time, with contact taking place by hands, toys, latex, silicone, or leather instead of the other partner’s parts.
Kinky couples can engage in fluid release on non-genital body parts. For example, kink lovers who enjoy water sports are enjoying safe sex unless they’re urinating on each other’s genitals or drinking urine. Coming while you are restrained by ropes instead of into your partner’s vagina or mouth is totally safe.
Some kinks avoid contact altogether.
There are countless fetishes that focus on shared experiences or on objects or on the whole body, not on traditional sexual contact.
Dress-up, role play, poly play, adult-baby fetishes, foot fetishes, bondage and discipline are just a few examples of ultra-safe sex practices in the kink repertoire.
Kinky communities are often polyamorous, with intricate safety codes of conduct in place.
Kinky poly communities are experienced with specific limitations that protect their lovers from risky sex. There are many interesting arrangements among poly people. A basic one is that many use protection with all lovers, all the time. Another is commitment inside a polycule, where a number of lovers indulge each other but don’t stray outside of the agreed upon group—a kind of group monogamy.
Others have a primary partner for a certain kind of sex, but only practice safe sex outside that person or kinks that limit contact.
Domination and submission lifestyles are the epitome of safe sex.
BDSM as a lifestyle takes the centralization of sex from genital contact and expands it. A submissive man, for example, might seldom or never get to enter into the temple of his mistress. Or he might be committed entirely to her and her alone, while she makes love to other women.
Voyeur practices, or relationships with objects like cars or leather equipment, don’t involve any risky transmissions at all.
Kink lovers are more likely to practice safe sex when they have traditional sex.
Whether or not kinky people are poly, in my experience they are far more likely to assume safe-sex practices and insist on them. Kink is a community, and kinky lovers want to be good citizens and ensure the best for others.
Do you consider your kinks safe? Share in the comments!
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