Q: Dear Jamie. My man has a wet and messy fetish that I want to indulge! He’s such a serious sort that I was surprised at the contents of his porn cache!
I met him on BDSMdate.com, and we shared an interest in bondage and discipline. We’re both very fastidious about hygiene and our space. So I wasn’t counting on finding out his desires are so messy!
I want to surprise him by living out some of his wet-and-messy fantasies. I think it will be a lot of fun! Here’s the problem: I’m really used to minimalist, restrained and contained sex.
BDSM is at least in part about the lean aesthetics and the restrained momentum. I am most willing to break those chains and let loose sometimes, but the actual mechanics of this kink are a mystery to me.
How can we do it? How can I get into cake sitting? How can I make a mess without making a mess? I don’t know where we can carry out this kind of play other than the bathtub.
Please help! –Â Madison, 24
A: Madison! How exciting for you, planning a party like this. You won’t feel like a hot mess unless you keep things clean and safe, and here’s how.
Safe Splosh
As with any kind of sex play, you want to keep it safe. Some WAM kinksters like to splash around in volatile substances like vomit, mucus, or slime. Those who like cake sitting tend to prefer the sweet stuff. If you need to worry about potentially noxious fluids, research the safety of them and how to proceed.
Food can be fun and sexy, but most people don’t realize something as innocent and sweet as sugar can cause terrible infections, especially for women. A bit of whipped cream ecstasy or pussy with chocolate sauce can turn into a vicious cycle of yeast infections. That’s because those nasty critters love sugar just like we do!
For playing with cake and caramel and strawberry sundaes, avoid pushing these substances directly onto or into your pussy or ass. Focus on smearing the breasts and outside buttocks instead.
If the food touching the pussy is central to the fantasy, get creative—you might have some transparent plastic panties that can protect you, or make a diaper out of saran wrap. Clean up quickly after you play.
Rub-a-Dub-Dub
Yes, the bathtub or shower is the place where messy sex is best, if you want to save your sofa or Egyptian cotton sheets. It’s perfect for one person to sit inside while the other bathes you in whatever messy stuff floats the boat.
The drawback is limited room, no space for two to cut loose and play Twister, and the danger of bumping heads or slipping and injuring body parts on the tub or surrounding walls and pipes. Proceed with caution.
Use Your Imagination
It’s easy to contain the mess with a little ingenuity. How would you protect your furniture and carpets if the house was being painted? You can get massive tarps from the hardware store. A shower curtain spread beneath you like a blanket is brilliant for a wet and messy quickie.
Here’s a secret tip: Have a kid’s plastic swimming pool on hand for a variety of possibilities, like oil wrestling, water play, and messy games. You can haul this out over one of those above mentioned tarps, and voila—clean up is easy!
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