Does your job suck? Do you wish there was a way to make it a little more fun? You could always play practical jokes on your co-workers, but that would only serve to brand you as the immature office jerk. Why not have a little fun with yourself instead?
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4 Kinky Projects for You
1. Wear Your Girlfriend’s Panties
Slip them on under your standard work uniform, and enjoy their silky softness all day long. Be reminded of your sexcapades the night before, or catch the scent of your gf’s intimate areas whenever you pull them down to take a piss.
Whether they’re dirty or clean, women’s undies can add a lot of excitement to your day. Try wearing her bra on a casual Friday if you’re so inclined. Just be sure to ask permission before borrowing her unmentionables.
2. Sneak Off to a Private Washroom
Take some time out to jerk it in the john. As a person with a disability who uses the private accessible washroom, I can pretty much guarantee that a lot of you already do this. Masturbating throughout the day—or having someone help you if you’re lucky enough to have an office fuck buddy—can really help to alleviate stress.
Just be sure to choose an out-of-the-way location and be discreet! Always be extra sure to lock the door, and try to mix it up. Don’t get into such a routine that your trips to the bathroom become obvious. People will either catch on to your game, or they’ll think you’re a cokehead; two very different assumptions, neither of which are conducive to a promotion.
3. Use Frustrations to Your Advantage
I used to be a receptionist and every time the printer jammed (which was A LOT!), I would make a mental note to treat myself to something nice at the end of the day. In my case, the treats included things like cookies and some days I would eat a whole box of them, but I digress.
Talk with your partner and agree on a list of sexy rewards that you can redeem at the end of the day (or during your aforementioned X-rated trips to the loo if you’re brave enough.) Your boss asked you to redo the report? No worries. That translates to a rusty trombone later on… Just keep in mind that your partner might not be in the mood to offer you your compensation right away. Think of it as a running tab, and offer the same service to her! Â
4. Wear a Butt Plug in the Boardroom
Who will know? If you’re really daring, try a vibrating one, though the constant buzzing in your pants might be a hard thing to explain away, “Heh, my phone is just ringing off the hook today!” Yeah. That might come across as a little suspect.
Try other toys, too, a cock ring or harness or ass-less chaps… whatever tickles your fancy. Let your little secret provide hours of joy during an otherwise soul-sucking day.
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Whatever you do, do it at your own risk! Getting caught could adversely affect your career, so be careful. Use these ideas to boost your productivity, not detract from it.
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