4 Ways to Make the Missionary Position Kinky

Missionary gets a bad rap. I don’t know why. I mean, yes, the Catholic Church advocates for it as the most holy way of conjugating with a spouse, but that shouldn’t take away from the pleasure you can have in that configuration.

It can definitely be the most intimate way to do it, given the proximity of one face to another, the ability to kiss, and the extent to which skin touches skin… but there is this whole Christian thing. Here are some tips from yours truly to kink it up.

4 Tips for Kinky Missionary

1. Talk Dirty

One thing you can have with missionary is a lot of dirty talking. You can get real ASMR by whispering right into a lady’s ear and letting her know all the dirty things you’re doing, or planning to do. I promise you that you will get direct results as she gets wetter and wetter while you stroke.

Grab her hair and tell her what a good little girl she is, and how daddy loves fucking her (if she’s into that sort of thing). I’m telling you, you can’t go wrong with adding a little audio.

2. Restrain Her

The missionary can be the most sensual, and it can be the most intimate. It can also be the most holy and religiously proper. That doesn’t mean that you can’t practice bondage and S&M, however.

It is no thing to grab her by the wrists and restrain her as you’re fucking. Nor is it all so difficult from that vantage point to put your hand on her neck and pretend to choke her (again, if she’s into that kinda play). This can be particularly effective in a role play as it can push from sexy to dangerous in the blink of an eye. It definitely keeps the sex fresh.

3. Role Play

Because missionary is so very, ahem, missionary, it can be employed in all kinds of role playing games that involve a woman and man having sex in a way that would seem appropriate to any given clergyman who happened to be passing by your bedroom window.

Role play a priest and an alter girl and the missionary position will be the obvious choice. Or role play a boring married couple, when in fact you are two incredibly kinky weirdos and the missionary sex will become a kind of meta-kinky nonkink. Whatever works for you.

4. Do It in Public

Missionary is an all-in sex position. Unlike doggie or cowgirl, where you can kind of get things happening in public in a way that might even be incognito if you play it right, missionary involves fully committing yourself to lying on top of somebody. There’s no hiding what’s up.

This makes it a lot more fun and challenging to attempt in public places. If you’re going for a fucking-in-unusual public-spaces game, then missionary will be the most daring way to make it happen. That’s my two cents!

How do you kink up the missionary position? Please share in the comments!

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