Many kinky folk who are interested in exploring BDSM meet their hookups online. Niche dating sites cater to almost every kink or fetish because you can’t expect to meet your fantasy submissive redhead or amazon dominatrix at your local bar.
When you do make an online connection, it usually takes a bit of time before you both are ready to engage in BDSM activities. Here’s some tips for your initial encounter.
First Date Dos and Dont’s for Kink Lovers
DO go in with a positive attitude. I’ve met a lot of men online who carry their past bad dating experiences with them. We’ve all dealt with dating rejection. If you’re not over someone, hold off on meeting new people.
DON’T make a decision the first minute you meet someone. She may not look like the sexy vixen who you hope will spank you, but it’s often the quiet unassuming ones who will surprise you behind closed doors.
DO expect to have a good time. Some of my best first dates didn’t involve sex but rather the flirty fun of getting to know a person. Intellectual stimulation is sexy and is often a sign of chemistry to come.
DON’T expect sex on the first date. You only set yourself up for disappointment if you go in with this expectation. Just because her dating sites photos are revealing and hot, it doesn’t mean she’s going to fuck you without some wooing first.
DO pay attention. When it comes to meeting someone who is sexually compatible, being attentive to subtle hints and gestures definitely helps. Ask straightforward questions that are respectful to know more about her desires.
DON’T push when she shares. Women will share more as they become comfortable with you. Ask broad questions that she can extrapolate on if she wishes to. She may be into pee play, but this isn’t something she’s likely to share on a first date.
DO share your interests and experience. Talk about fetishes or fantasies you have that you think aren’t too heavy for a meet and greet. This will take careful consideration and judgement, as well as going with the flow and depth of the conversation.
DON’T overshare your darkest fantasies. It’s okay to slow your kink roll, especially on a first date. It would be a shame to meet a hot lady, only to frighten her off with a creepy fantasy that you know is unlikely to ever come true.
DO respect boundaries and limits. If you are so lucky to end up naked together on your first date, take any limits she has stated seriously. If you’re not sure, ask.
DON’T leave without debriefing. No woman likes it when a man fucks and flies. It’s rude and leaves a bad impression. Talk a little about how you’re feeling, and if you want to hang out again.
DO call her back the next day. I recommend this if you’re interested or not. It’s good to keep your dating reputation intact, especially if you live in a small community.
DON’T be disappointed if she isn’t interested. No matter her reasoning for not wanting to see you again, keep your chin up and head high when you send the next potential date a message.
How kinky have you gotten on a first date? Dare to share in the comments!
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