A kink for hair pulling is not uncommon and something vanilla and BDSM enthusiasts enjoy alike.
Trichophilia can present as a long or short hair fetish, hair pulling fetish, or haircut fetish, among others.
Read: Hair Fetish: What Is Trichophilia All About?
Why Does Hair Pulling Excite Us?
Hair pulling is exciting to many because it feels primal, is an act of domination, feels dangerous and powerful, and has a tactile aspect.
Hair pulling often happens when a man is behind a woman who in doggy position on all fours, on her stomach, or bending over a chair. A dominant pulling their submissive lover’s hair is about the power exchange relationship, about control and submission.
Read: BDSM Roles: 33 Dominant and Submissive Roles
How to Incorporate Hair Pulling into Sex
Gently Tug while Making Out
Hair pulling can be quite gentle for those who don’t like a painful sensation. Many women like the feeling of having their hair tugged, like when getting their hair blow dried by their stylist or braided by a friend.
When you’re making out, gently run your fingers through her hair with your fingers just together enough to create a small amount of tension. This can be incorporated with neck caresses or kisses. Pinch strands and run along to their ends.
Read: 7 Kinky Foreplay Ideas to Make Her Wet
Pull Hair during Primal Play
Primal play kinks enable our natural instincts towards domination and submission. Primal lovers are not interested in tame, civilized sex but a more intense animalistic way of connecting, that may involve a hunting of sorts or takedown of their sexual prey.
Try incorporating hair pulling into sex that involves wrestling or some type of athletic engagement. You can grunt and groan and take on animal characteristics while pulling your lover’s hair.
Read: Primal Play: 8 Ideas for Primal Sex
Grab Hair in Doggy Style
This is the classic sex position for hair pulling, as you are behind and can easily grab hair from all sides of your lover’s head. You may just be pinching tufts of short hair or holding and pulling ponytails as be a part of pony play.
Hair pulling in doggy goes perfectly with domination kinks that also incorporate anal penetration with a strap-on or cock, spanking with the hand or tools, masks and ball gags.
Read: Why Doggy Style Position is Perfect for Kinky Sex
Mix Hair Pulling with Deep Throating
Pulling hair during a blowjob comes quite naturally to many couples. It can be gentle and loving or more forceful. If there is consensual deep throating, the hair pulling may be part of bringing a lover’s mouth closer to swallow more cock.
You can ask your submissive to wear her hair down or tie into two side ponytails or braids that work as handles to pull back and forth.
Read: How to Deep Throat: A Guide to Deep Throating
Hair Pull in the Shower
Adding the sensation of water can intensify the hair pulling experience. Slippery sex bodies mixed with hair pulling can be a thrill for those with a hair kink.
Wash your lover’s hair, gently massaging their scalp before scrunching and pulling their hair away, creating a lather with the shampoo. You can take a comb or brush into the shower or sit on the bed afterwards to brush out any knots. This type of hair pulling can feel extra sexy while still being wet and naked.
Read: Shower Play Ideas for Sexy Lovers
Mix Hair Pulling with Predicament Bondage
Predicament bondage in BDSM refers to bondage activity that centers around obtaining and holding challenging poses. In a scene where the submissive is forced to maintain a position while being “restrained,” some contact with the dominant may come as a welcome relief or distraction.
You can praise your sub for holding a position while gently tugging her hair. You can also pull her hair as a way to challenge your sub further, telling them that despite the pulling or discomfort they must stay in position, or punishment will occur.
Read: BDSM Predicament Bondage Basics and Ideas
Hair Pulling Tips
Ask for Consent
You don’t want to pull a woman’s hair the first time you hook up with her, similar to not spanking a woman the first night you fuck. It’s just not a good idea. For any kinks or BDSM practices, you want to ask for consent beforehand.
Let your lover know that you fantasize about hair pulling or would like to try it with a certain sex position or kinky practice. The worst that can happen is that they say no.
Read: How to Talk about Your Kinks without Turning Her Off
Respect Boundaries
Many people are open to trying all kinds of kinks, as long as their boundaries are respected. A woman may say she loves having her hair pulled but not in doggy because she requires eye contact. She may only want her hair pulled gently. She may want to pull YOUR hair.
Ask your lover how she likes her hair pulled. Does she prefer it tied back or loose. Ask when she likes it pulled, during foreplay or just before she comes. Ask her to choose a safe word that signals you to stop pulling. Discussing these things before you get down and dirty will avoid killing the mood during sex.
Read: BDSM Limits and Boundaries to Discuss
Test Techniques Slowly
Even if your lover tells you she loves having her hair yanked while wrestling on the floor, don’t go to town the first time you do it. If you’re not pulling hard enough, she’ll tell you, which is better than leaving a bad taste by almost pulling her hair out the first time you do it.
Try burying your fingers between her hair and gently massaging her scalp before and during the hair pulling. For longer hair, divide into two or more ponytails or braids that can be pulled in different sex positions.
Read: 8 Kinky Sex Positions for Wild Sex
Ask for Feedback
After sex, ask your lover about the hair pulling. Was it too hard? Not hard enough? Would they rather be in a different position? Did it live up to their fantasy, yours? What would have made it a better experience?
All BDSM practices get better… through practice. And none of us are mind readers, so it’s always acceptable to ask a partner about a new kink experience.
Do you fantasize about hair pulling? Or is hair pulling part of your regular sex repertoire? Do tell!
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